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Instagram is not good for the mind. No duh. But what if it's been your main source of connection for the past 6 years? Everyone's online, everyone's in that group chat you haven't checked in a month, making plans for things you have no idea about, going places you're not invited to.
But is that really the case? Are your friends actually excluding you because you're not on Instagram? No, that's absurd. If they're your friends, which they are, they'll make the attempt to reach out and get you involved in those plans. Maybe it's not always in the most transparent ways but they will ask for you when you're not there. You're not missing anything. You're scrambling to download that answer, to satiate the people-pleasing, FOMO-feeling goblin in your mind, quick to dismiss the progress you've made so far.
Take a deep breath, and just call them. less chances of having your tone misread.
But is that really the case? Are your friends actually excluding you because you're not on Instagram? No, that's absurd. If they're your friends, which they are, they'll make the attempt to reach out and get you involved in those plans. Maybe it's not always in the most transparent ways but they will ask for you when you're not there. You're not missing anything. You're scrambling to download that answer, to satiate the people-pleasing, FOMO-feeling goblin in your mind, quick to dismiss the progress you've made so far.
Take a deep breath, and just call them. less chances of having your tone misread.
Jul 18, 2025
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😿Lately I have been daydreaming about deleting Instagram, but everytime I get close to doing it, the same thing always pull me back.
I emigrated to London from Spain for university in 2017 and I haven't moved back since. The feeling of missing out on the goings on back home... It hasn't gone away.
Instagram has become my link to faraway friends. It's how I know when they change their hair, or get a new boyfriend, or get a dog, or break their ankle. Of course I talk to my closest friends now and then but converstaions can loose their informality when you don't see each other often.
The truth is that I don't want to have a deep conversation everytime I talk to friends from back home. The obligatory "How's work? How's your partner? When are you coming back? How's your mother?". It makes me feel that everytime I reach out to one of them they feel obligated to rattle through all these questions. I want to talk about stupid stuff, stuff that doesn't matter, what your Dad said, the fight you had with your sister, that weird thing you saw the other day.
On Instagram I can be a fly on the wall watching all that stupid shit they put on their story and feel like I'm still a part of their life and their a part of mine. But at the same time I know that these snippets I grab now and then are not connections of quality.
Does anyone else who moved away have the same feelings about social media?
I emigrated to London from Spain for university in 2017 and I haven't moved back since. The feeling of missing out on the goings on back home... It hasn't gone away.
Instagram has become my link to faraway friends. It's how I know when they change their hair, or get a new boyfriend, or get a dog, or break their ankle. Of course I talk to my closest friends now and then but converstaions can loose their informality when you don't see each other often.
The truth is that I don't want to have a deep conversation everytime I talk to friends from back home. The obligatory "How's work? How's your partner? When are you coming back? How's your mother?". It makes me feel that everytime I reach out to one of them they feel obligated to rattle through all these questions. I want to talk about stupid stuff, stuff that doesn't matter, what your Dad said, the fight you had with your sister, that weird thing you saw the other day.
On Instagram I can be a fly on the wall watching all that stupid shit they put on their story and feel like I'm still a part of their life and their a part of mine. But at the same time I know that these snippets I grab now and then are not connections of quality.
Does anyone else who moved away have the same feelings about social media?
Feb 14, 2025
Rec
❌Give people your number. Text, call, make actual plans to hang out and put them in your calendar. Also it may seem annoying, but you have to tell people you are leaving the platform so they know to reach out to you else-how. Take the initiative to be the one to reach out to build the habit of actually catching up, rather than passively consuming life updates via “content”
The dirty little trick of social media is locking you in via the relationships you are trying to sustain. It’s hard AF, but once you’re out, you’re out!
The dirty little trick of social media is locking you in via the relationships you are trying to sustain. It’s hard AF, but once you’re out, you’re out!
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🪫do y’all ever think about getting off social media but then you worry about how you’ll keep in touch with your friends? i’ve been thinking about this a lot bc i wanna delete ig but it’s where i talk to some of my rly close friends. i hate that it monopolizes connection like that. but i also had this realization that like the people i follow/follow me on ig are not “friends” they’re just superficial connections. real, deep, long meaningful relationships (which i’m craving) i think do require me to get the fuck offline and take the time i was mindlessly scrolling and putting it back into myself or my friends is where i’ll see the greatest positive feedback. and being PRESENT in those relationships. i feel like this is what that book the dopamine generation is about butttttt haven’t read it yet.
Feb 4, 2025
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😃I'm putting myself out there right now (I'm tipsy too a lil bit
May 25, 2025
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😃She's an actual angel in disguise. She just casts a spell over me that makes incapable of sense or speech.
Jun 6, 2025
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The other day my buddy texted me and asked if I wanted to come over and make action figure dioramas. I was like uh hell yeah are you kidding that sounds like itd be fucking awesome. and guess what? We have spent every night since working on it, posted up in his garage with so much cardboard and paint fumes. I think it's pretty badass! We decided on making a battle scene set in New York, so we started with some buildings to act as hubs to build the rest of the street around, him with his apartments, and me with my bodega.We've been rewatching the MCU, listening to new music, and just talking about our friendship. I really appreciate him. The thing is, we haven't known each other as long as the others, but we've become like brothers. like we just get on each others nerves like siblings, but we also still come back together like brothers. And that's really helped me become more secure in myself strangely, because I think he understands me better than I understand myself, and through various jokes and conversations, he's able to call me on my bullshit and make me more aware and by all of that, it helps me understand myself and improve, if that makes sense.
He's just a really good guy! I trust him with my life! And these past few fays have just been like, childhood wish fulfillmen. I never really had friends as a kid that I could do this kinda stuff with, not many people to geek out about this stuff with, nobody was staying up late with me. So this has been really cathartic for me. I've made a bodega, a subway entrance, some miscellaneous city props, just like, really in the zone. And it's been nice to bounce ideas off each other because we're both so excited about this that there's only positive feedback and collaboration, no stressing, no stepping on each others toes.
Idk, it feels really nice to have had these last few days be this little place I can go to. included: pictures of my friend's destroyed apartment building, and my bodega (unfinished)
Idk, it feels really nice to have had these last few days be this little place I can go to. included: pictures of my friend's destroyed apartment building, and my bodega (unfinished)
Jun 3, 2025