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if you donāt have anything constructive to say you could simply say āi think weāre in different parts of our lives and i donāt have the capacity for this type of friendship anymoreā
1d ago
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šthis may not be in any way applicable to your situations:
what if you were to reply letting them know you got the message, you want to connect, but texting just isn't working for you āĀ and instead could they Facetime or do a phone call or something realtime?
When I send you a text message or a whatsapp or signal or one of the many others then I am essentially giving you homework/an assignment. I put something in your inboxāon your to do list. Now you have to deal with this thing. My message, or insane flurry of messages, is going to sit there taunting and shaming you.
I've been part of so many group messaging threads and they can just become so way too much to point I can't even engage in that medium.
So I love the idea of communicating in a way that doesn't put a burden of response on someoneābecause it is happening in realtime. Instant messaging can be exhausting whereas a phone call or video chat can be life-giving. And when it is over, then it is over.
what if you were to reply letting them know you got the message, you want to connect, but texting just isn't working for you āĀ and instead could they Facetime or do a phone call or something realtime?
When I send you a text message or a whatsapp or signal or one of the many others then I am essentially giving you homework/an assignment. I put something in your inboxāon your to do list. Now you have to deal with this thing. My message, or insane flurry of messages, is going to sit there taunting and shaming you.
I've been part of so many group messaging threads and they can just become so way too much to point I can't even engage in that medium.
So I love the idea of communicating in a way that doesn't put a burden of response on someoneābecause it is happening in realtime. Instant messaging can be exhausting whereas a phone call or video chat can be life-giving. And when it is over, then it is over.
Oct 19, 2024
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šÆokay i got some really amazing advice from fellow piffers a few weeks back when i was drowning with texts AND felt like a dick for telling my friends and family that getting their messages made me want to kms lol. but being honest about how i felt is super helpful so i donāt become a ball of rage. usually in a more gentle way, but being honest that texting isnāt a great way to connect with me is v important to foregrounding my relationships nowadays.
do not disturb really helped me take away from feeling constantly available to people. i see their texts when i get the time to, not when they *need* or *want* me to. removing the feeling of being obligated to someoneās messages has made me feel less awful about texts and calls. esp bc i am busy so often that their messages used to interrupt my day, my flow, my viiibbbee.
still trying to figure out why relationships feel like obligations to me rnā¦ i feel like that is the core issue of my rage/anxiety feelings from texts and calls.
do not disturb really helped me take away from feeling constantly available to people. i see their texts when i get the time to, not when they *need* or *want* me to. removing the feeling of being obligated to someoneās messages has made me feel less awful about texts and calls. esp bc i am busy so often that their messages used to interrupt my day, my flow, my viiibbbee.
still trying to figure out why relationships feel like obligations to me rnā¦ i feel like that is the core issue of my rage/anxiety feelings from texts and calls.
Nov 19, 2024
Mar 26, 2025
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š«conflict resolution is a dying art! we should be able to disappoint & express our disappointment to the people we love or are in community with. having disagreements & resolving them honestly helps our relationships grow and in some cases deepens them š§
1d ago
1d ago
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šitās not helpful. lately iāve been telling myself *stop* mid thought when i find myself fixating lol
9h ago