Had a moment last night where I was stacking menus at work and staring out the window and kind of asked myself, “do I really need to stay here?”. Idk, money is important, but I think I’d rather work somewhere that lets my personality shine rather than makes me feel unappreciated and devalued. Makes me feel kinda bad that I decided this is normal instead of sticking up for myself. ~~~not sure what to do ~~~~ :/
makes me feel happy 🤷 i realised i stop myself from enjoying things a lot just because i think they’re too childish. like… yeah. maybe it’s not exactly mature to spend an hour in a toy store looking for colourful, moving, fluffy, squishy things.
but it makes me feel more alive than a vacation, concert or netflix ever has… same with writing like i’m falling asleep on a keyboard while decorating articles with glittery symbols. letting myself be against seriousness. against non-ironical snobism.
against algorithm-polished aesthetics.
letting myself be as ugly and uncomfortable as i am.
it’s fine. i need it.
