I’ve been known to gas myself up. I’ll walk into a room and announce that I love my outfit for the day. I’ll show someone a spreadsheet that I made and say that I’m in awe of my brain for having such a good idea and bringing it to fruition. And I can assure you that I’m laughing at every single one of my jokes.
It’s obvious how loving yourself and having confidence improves how you feel overall. We know this, we understand this. What I want to talk about is the lesser known impacts of believing in yourself, which is how the rest of the world interacts with you when you carry yourself with unshakable confidence.
On the surface, how do other people react when I’m giving myself a gold star? They giggle, sometimes they may roll their eyes.
On a deeper level, when you truly walk through the world knowing that you are that bitch, it creates an inexplicable magnetism. People notice you in a different way. Take a compliment on an outfit, for example. I wear cute clothes, but so do a lot of people. When someone compliments my outfit, what they are often actually drawn to is that they can tell that EYE feel amazing wearing my outfit.
I love job interviews. People find this shocking and confusing, but they’re going about interviews all wrong. I’m not trying to sell myself, sound like I know what I’m talking about, convince someone to hire me, none of this nonsense. I’m excited to talk about my previous work and skills that I’m so proud of and how amazing I am. I don’t have to tell them how valuable I am, how lucky they would be to have me- the way I believe in myself conveys it.
As mother (RuPaul) says, “if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” We always talk about treating other people in the way that you want to be treated, but that starts with you. Are you nice to yourself? Do you love yourself? Are you the only girl in the world? If you can’t show up for yourself in these ways, it’s going to limit your capacity to show up for others.
We don’t have to pretend like this is possible every moment of every day. Most days, it feels like everything in our environment is trying to tear us down constantly (especially women!) and sometimes its all too much. Sometimes you just wake up and it’s just not your day. These things happens. Good news- you can try again tomorrow.
Worried about being labeled as delusional? You’re not- you are the baddest bitch in the room. Labeled as extra? Good. Take up as much space as you see fit. Vain? That’s fine. Some people can’t see what’s beyond the surface; the 700th selfie I put on IG has much less to do with liking my face and much more to do with feeling beautiful in my soul.
It’s hard to put into words. But when you believe in yourself, people notice. They won’t be able to put their finger on it, there’s just something about you that stands out. It comes through in our body language, our micro-behaviors, and the wavelengths and vibrations we can’t see and feel.
Try it out. Lie to yourself until you believe it.
Then, watch the world start to fall at your feet.
