I remember writing this in my notes years ago. I was on the train to meet a friend and it was raining heavily. There were two older women sitting in front of me and they were chatting (in Russian - which I speak). They were discussing how bad the weather was when one of them said the phrase in my note. Translating to āweāll live till we get homeā. I thought it was so funny because I had only ever heard my family say ŠŠ° ŃŠ²Š°Š“ŃŠ±y Š“Š°Š¶ŠµŠ²ŃŠ¼ŃŃ - which means āyouāll live till the weddingā even when there wasnāt a wedding coming up (because there is always someones wedding coming up).
"October 17, 1946 DāArline, I adore you, sweetheart. I know how much you like to hear that ā but I donāt only write it because you like it ā I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you. It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you ā almost two years but I know youāll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing. But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you. I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead ā but I still want to comfort and take care of you ā and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you ā I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together ā or learn Chinese ā or getting a movie projector. Canāt I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the āidea-womanā and general instigator of all our wild adventures. When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You neednāt have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true ā you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else ā but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive. I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and donāt want to be in my way. Iāll bet you are surprised that I donāt even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you canāt help it, darling, nor can I ā I donāt understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I donāt want to remain alone ā but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real. My darling wife, I do adore you. I love my wife. My wife is dead. Rich. PS Please excuse my not mailing this ā but I donāt know your new address." Richard Feynman fell in love with Arline Greenbaum at the age of 13, and they soon began dating. The couple planned to get married, but a few years later, Arline was diagnosed with tuberculosis. The disease did not affect Feynman's choice; they got married and lived together for some time. Arline died at the age of 25. The letter was written a year and a half after her death and was first made public 43 years later, after Feynman himself had passed away. I donāt know why I like it; itās just pure pain.
the other day i went out to an unfinished nuclear plant with some old highschool friends. we cut a hole in the fence and ran to one of the massive, truly massive cooling towers. it was terrifyingly big, like really, seriously, huge. it was my third time there and definitely had not lost any of its effect on me. the four of us stood underneath it for a good forty minutes. looking up through the top to see the last touch of sunset resting on the rim, and later planets. we stood there for long stretches of silence until someone would shift their weight and the crunch of a couple pebbles underfoot would echo so loud and clear we could all hear it.
we sang there in the echo beneath the tower until it was totally dark.
later, in the front seat of my best friendās car as we played american football i cried. i donāt think anyone noticed, i think they were busy with whatever they were thinking about. i cried because of how long i had gone wanting this feeling. that i hadnāt seen these old friends in months and had been struggling to meet anyone i felt could be the kind of people i wanted to really love like i did my friends from highschool.
i want people to love so badly, to go to a sketchy abandoned nuclear plant and watch the sunset and sing together. we forget how long it takes to make friends like that i guess. itās only been one semester, and i shouldnāt let that be me down.
i love you all so much :)
Sister left to go back to the US today. The house is quiet again. Iām glad we got to see her even if it was for just 2 weeks. Thereās been talk about going to the US ourselves next year for my nephewās high school graduation but weāre hoping we get to see them all sooner. āŗļø She left a letter in my backpack. Iāll open it when I get home. Waterworks warning. Tears eminent.
Hi! So I worked at Aesop for 2.5 years in Australia where the brand is from. In complete honesty I would not recommend Aesop as a starting place to build your skincare routine. The skincare range has a lot of essential oils, that unless your skin is quite robust, can be irritants to the skin. I am of the opinion that there are other brands that are more effective and well priced to get your skincare from. If you are going to buy from Aesop, I would highly recommend their home, fragrance and body care ranges. Some skincare brands at a similar price point with more effective products are:Ā
- Dr.Dennis GrossĀ
- ElemisĀ
- Emma Lewisham
- Moon JuiceĀ
I like to mix up my vibe day to day - my current rotation has been the above three. Could be light and fresh with Jo Malone one day.
Could be floral and musky with Glossier the next.
Could be woody and spicy with Aesop the following day.