In the past, I believed in the concept of “falling in love,” but now it's more like “acting for love” or something along the lines of “love is an act,” merging worlds without losing oneself in the other. There must always be a certain solitude guaranteed and guarded, even when you’re with someone else.
May 14, 2024
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On one hand: it just flows. You can't get enough of them. Your eyes, their eyes—could be the only thing that matters in the whole world. Their voice hits you like electricity. When alone, you wonder why you aren't with them. Mundane things, at their side, become adventures. You occupy your own universe that is a secret from all others.
And on the other hand: it is a labor. Your beloved, who stirs and ignites your affection so much, is also the one who most exposes your pride and weaknesses. As you dive into them and truly know them, you discover they are broken and selfish and human. And they discover that about you. The easy slide down the snowy hill of excitement becomes a long drag back up the other side.
But then the two of you put those parts together: combine the thrill and the sparkle with the messiness and the suffering. Your together love becomes something deeper and more enduring. You say: I see you fully but I choose you still, with all my heart and soul.
It becomes something that will withstand any storms that may come, something more mature and tested:
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." —Antoine de Saint-Exupery:
Mar 1, 2025
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romantic gestures (grand or small, whatever you’re into) balanced with honesty, understanding, acceptance, patience, communication and trust. compromise is important too but within reason! you shouldn’t compromise to the point where you lose yourself or feel like you’re settling for the sake of love and the person you love shouldn’t want that either. also, a lot of people want to be in a relationship for the sake of company and companionship and fail to see the other as their own person. so have standards, even if that means you won’t be in a relationship right away. love means being able to be an individual and appreciated as such. love should not be your identity, your identity should be present in how you love. i don’t know i have a very practical but fantastical approach…maybe it’s my taurus venus. personally i fancy a little fun and humor as well. if i can’t be silly with my lover i don’t want it.
May 14, 2024
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I’m not a poet, so here are some people that put it into much better words:
“To fall in love is to create a religion with a fallible god” Jorge luis borges
“Falling in love is like being haunted”— Han Kang
“Love is as love dies. Love is an act of will— namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to.” —Erich fromm
Mar 3, 2025
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