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I dont know what it’s like to not be neuro divergent.It manifests in ways that are…inconvenient. Anti social, stand-offish, scattered, frsutrated, over explaining, self doubting, perfection paralysis…et al.One of the reasons I love what I do is because I can actually show people what I’m thinking…through images, fabrics, product…things that are tangible and tactile and the conversation becomes much easier.There’s a block in my brain in which the words are in my head, but the ability to communicate them is hard to get out of my mouth.I have to work on this every single day to keep the non ideal aspects of this at bay. I’ve been responsible for large teams and have worked within publicly traded companies for 20 years, so the ability to communicate clearly with concise intentions is vital.These are all things associated with ADD, but the understanding of this by people that don’t experience it first hand is minimal. It’s not about being scattered or flakey. It’s so much more deeply complex.Simple tasks to most people present themselves as heavy left obstacles to me.Every day, it takes monumental effort to pull up and put my game face on. However, the upside to how my brain operates (I can’t speak for others) is that I get incredibly plugged into what I’m passionate about.I’m so fortunate and grateful to have found that outlet in a creative field that brings me joy and a sense of accomplishment…and I get to work with amazing people who are equally passionate.So whoever is out there that experiences this…I see you and I feel you.Get up. Brush your teeth. Get dressed. Regularly push yourself outside your comfort zone and follow your inner compass because it will tell you deep in your guts what you’re capable of doing.Also, a dog is wonderful at soothing this condition.
Jun 13, 2024
Related Recs
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Meeting people in large group settings definitely helps, i find theres a very natural pull feeling to people that are similar to me and its wayyy more noticeable when im not hanging out with people who ive known forever.
Turns out almost everything i thought was unique to me could be distilled into a list of 💫symptoms💫.
Ive alway seen myself as a drifter/chameleon type, i think my brain just resents ever being able to be defined or labelled or categorized.
That was disjointed but hope that helps, maybe that made sense to you and you are a little more understood now :))
Jul 18, 2024
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i don’t have autism i don’t think, but i do have adhd, social anxiety, and dysthymia. i also am not accepted or supported by my parents when it comes to my queerness (which isn’t neurodivergence lol, but it often comes up when i think about “what life could be like”).
i often would get stuck thinking about how much more successful in life i would be had i been supported in the beginning. if only i had been taken to a therapist when i first asked for support, or maybe had my parents been more open minded about lgbtq ppl.. maybe i wouldn’t have anxiety about the smallest things, or depressive episodes where i can’t get out of bed the entire day. maybe i would be the son they could show off to their friends.
this type of thinking kind of consumed me for the majority of last year, as i was getting used to living outside of my parents’ house. i was very depressed and often fantasized about what it would be like if things were different. however, earlier this year, i think i realized that staying in this mindset really held me back. i was thinking “what if” about things that i now (as an independent adult) have a moderate amount of control over!! i could become the support and acceptance i was seeking.
it also really helped me to shift my thinking on my own neurodivergence. i often thought of it as one of my biggest obstacles (which it can be at times). but when you learn the right coping mechanisms and ignore what society deems as “normal”, it can be a little more manageable. for me, i’m very sensitive to noise and lighting. wearing my noise canceling headphones (even in public where i feel most insecure about wearing them, and while i do chores) and making sure there’s no overhead lighting has helped me sm in terms of productivity and living happily in general. remembering that normal doesn’t really exist and there are no rules to living, has kind of opened me up to a whole new world that i didn’t know was possible for me. living is actually awesome sauce, when there is no one in ur ear telling u ur “rude” or ”weird” or “annoying“ or “awkward” for living in a way that is most comfortable for u.
the ppl who turned away from u and hurt u just because u are autistic, were simply not meant to be in ur life!!! they obviously couldn’t handle ur autistic swag. know that u r the normal one for just living ur life, and ppl who try to bring others down or judge unnecessarily are the weird ones.. also society is not built to support everyone, so plz dont judge urself for having to find joy through unconventional avenues. that is a reflection on societal expectations and how flawed our society is, not on u!
anyways i hope maybe this helps a little. 🫶🐛 ty for reading my essay and sorry if it sounds so motivational speech core. it just makes me sad when i see ppl who have similar negative thoughts as i do when it comes to this stuff RAAAAAAHHFFFRRR 🤖🤖🤖🤖🤖🤖🤖🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦅🦅🦅
Mar 18, 2025
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i feel like because neurodivergence is still not largely understood on a cultural level, there aren't a lot of resources or representation that could've served as a signal for me as a child. now that i've come to terms with the way i navigate the world, i wonder if the grief i feel is normal. its like a sadness for the me i could've been, had i and others been aware, and this odd sense of urgency which overcomes my usual executive dysfunction. and compels me to find some assistance that can hopefully nake my life easier or at least more manageable. im in the process of giving myself grace for what i percieved as laziness and have now come to realize is probably adhd. my finam word is that we should be more mindful and accepting, as a society, of how neurodivergence presents itself from person to person, as there is no monolith, especially as it pertains to women and girls, those of which are highly skilled at masking thier behaviors.
Mar 11, 2025
Top Recs from @aaron-levine
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I grew up in a Beatles, Willie Nelson, three tenors house.When i was 12 or so, my friend up the street put me on. The ramones. Violent femmes. corrosion of conformity. Metallica. DRI. Minor threat.Across the street, my other friends older bother tuned me into the smiths, the cure, bauhaus. Joy division and new order…echo and the bunnymen…In college i found the dead.All of this is a soundtrack to my life. I cant live without constantly listening to music. It’s means so much to me to music to whatever im doing. It makes living a joyful experience.
Jun 13, 2024
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A friend of mine took a pic of me at a dead show at the gorge last summer and i was wild out of control. I needed to get my act together.I started eating right…not dieting…just making smarter decisions.I got back to the gym.I walk my dog three and a half miles a day wearing a weighted rucksack.Changed my life.I feel so much better and what it does to calm my mind is invaluable.
Jun 13, 2024
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Because of my add sitting down to read is sometimes rough. I love audible. I’m always working on several books at a time on there…so good for my mind. Currently its:Undaunted courage, which is the story of Lewis and Clarkdune by frank herbertCarl sagans cosmosElectric kool acid acid test by Tom WolfeZen golf by dr Joseph parentAnd cormac mccarthys blood meridian
Jun 13, 2024