Rec | YES, I DO OFTEN :( BUT WE R OUR OWN BIGGEST HATERS

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yes, i do often :( but we r our own biggest haters

i don’t have autism i don’t think, but i do have adhd, social anxiety, and dysthymia. i also am not accepted or supported by my parents when it comes to my queerness (which isn’t neurodivergence lol, but it often comes up when i think about “what life could be like”). i often would get stuck thinking about how much more successful in life i would be had i been supported in the beginning. if only i had been taken to a therapist when i first asked for support, or maybe had my parents been more open minded about lgbtq ppl.. maybe i wouldn’t have anxiety about the smallest things, or depressive episodes where i can’t get out of bed the entire day. maybe i would be the son they could show off to their friends. this type of thinking kind of consumed me for the majority of last year, as i was getting used to living outside of my parents’ house. i was very depressed and often fantasized about what it would be like if things were different. however, earlier this year, i think i realized that staying in this mindset really held me back. i was thinking “what if” about things that i now (as an independent adult) have a moderate amount of control over!! i could become the support and acceptance i was seeking. it also really helped me to shift my thinking on my own neurodivergence. i often thought of it as one of my biggest obstacles (which it can be at times). but when you learn the right coping mechanisms and ignore what society deems as “normal”, it can be a little more manageable. for me, i’m very sensitive to noise and lighting. wearing my noise canceling headphones (even in public where i feel most insecure about wearing them, and while i do chores) and making sure there’s no overhead lighting has helped me sm in terms of productivity and living happily in general. remembering that normal doesn’t really exist and there are no rules to living, has kind of opened me up to a whole new world that i didn’t know was possible for me. living is actually awesome sauce, when there is no one in ur ear telling u ur “rude” or ”weird” or “annoying“ or “awkward” for living in a way that is most comfortable for u. the ppl who turned away from u and hurt u just because u are autistic, were simply not meant to be in ur life!!! they obviously couldn’t handle ur autistic swag. know that u r the normal one for just living ur life, and ppl who try to bring others down or judge unnecessarily are the weird ones.. also society is not built to support everyone, so plz dont judge urself for having to find joy through unconventional avenues. that is a reflection on societal expectations and how flawed our society is, not on u! anyways i hope maybe this helps a little. 🫶🐛 ty for reading my essay and sorry if it sounds so motivational speech core. it just makes me sad when i see ppl who have similar negative thoughts as i do when it comes to this stuff RAAAAAAHHFFFRRR 🤖🤖🤖🤖🤖🤖🤖🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦅🦅🦅

@urbfbear

Mar 18, 2025

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