Rec
This might be an autism/delayed emotional processing specific rec, but I was often told I overthink things and for a long time I thought I didnāt have feelings like everyone else, just lots of thoughts. I would spend so much time and energy trying to figure out what was a thought and what was a feeling until my therapist just said āwhat if I say that it doesnāt matter and the difference is unimportant or non-existent for you?ā I canāt tell you how much that changed my life! Thoughts like āthis is something that is upsettingā would cause me such confusion because I didnāt feel the upset so I felt I didnāt deserve to address it. But realising that for me recognising that something is upsetting on an intellectual level is how I first realise itās upsetting me, and it might be days or months or years until I realise how it was emotionally affecting me. So acting, in the moment, as if I can feel the upset (confronting people about things, changing the situation, wallowing, giving myself time etc) is both allowed and means I can process things so i dont only feel them later or realise how they were negatively impacting me. the modern day splitting of thought and feeling into separate worlds is sometimes useless or damaging!
Jul 17, 2024
Related Recs
Rec
š« What do feel? Where in your body are you carrying your emotions?
Many of our patterns are learned behaviors that have helped us get our needs met. Maybe they were behaviors that were better suited for a different environment (like our childhoods), or maybe they have helped us get our needs met a little bit but not in the best or most fulfilling way.
First, it helps to know what our needs are so we can connect them to our patterns/behaviors, and our needs reveal themselves in our feelings.
Iām a major intellectualizer of my feelings. I can articulate the problems and my motivations and many of the root causes of those problems, but then my therapist would ask āHow are you feeling right now?ā and Iād have no idea. I would have to *think* about it rather than sit with my body and feel it.
Learning to check in with myself helps me to get a clearer picture of what I need. That might start with my physical sensations. Am I tired and need rest? Am I hungry and need food? It can also be about naming emotions. Am I anxious and reassurance? Am I lonely and need connection? Am I feeling overwhelmed and need space?
Donāt talk yourself out of what youāre feeling. Not all feelings are capital-T true, especially as they relate to the external world, but all feelings contain truths to what you need and can bring you closer to taking new and potentially healthier actions.
Many of our patterns are learned behaviors that have helped us get our needs met. Maybe they were behaviors that were better suited for a different environment (like our childhoods), or maybe they have helped us get our needs met a little bit but not in the best or most fulfilling way.
First, it helps to know what our needs are so we can connect them to our patterns/behaviors, and our needs reveal themselves in our feelings.
Iām a major intellectualizer of my feelings. I can articulate the problems and my motivations and many of the root causes of those problems, but then my therapist would ask āHow are you feeling right now?ā and Iād have no idea. I would have to *think* about it rather than sit with my body and feel it.
Learning to check in with myself helps me to get a clearer picture of what I need. That might start with my physical sensations. Am I tired and need rest? Am I hungry and need food? It can also be about naming emotions. Am I anxious and reassurance? Am I lonely and need connection? Am I feeling overwhelmed and need space?
Donāt talk yourself out of what youāre feeling. Not all feelings are capital-T true, especially as they relate to the external world, but all feelings contain truths to what you need and can bring you closer to taking new and potentially healthier actions.
Nov 28, 2024
Rec
š«in my saturn return and im feeling everything more intensely than ever before. this may be obvious but, something that helps me lately is pausing when an intense feeling happens and breaking it down as much as I can/my mind + body allow me to.
example: i'm not as good as I used to be at making art.
things I ask myself:
-Who told you that?
-How do you know this is true?
-How does that feel in your body? Do we just need to feel it right now, that's okay if so!
-Is it something we can process right now or should we circle back to this when we have more mental space to do so?
-What would make this statement false in this moment?
-What is the emotionless truth underneath this statement? What's the desire? What's the conflict?
-What makes me "good at making art now?"
-What am I referring to when this statement comes up?
-Did social media contribute to this thought?
etc etc
It's a simple concept, but it's been really helpful for me in realizing that so many of my thoughts are not my own and are on auto pilot. But, How I digest these thoughts is in my controlā¤ļø
Mar 9, 2025
Rec
š«Things that come to mind that Iāve tried:
Firstly, recognizing that it is anxiety. Helps my brain reframe the experience. I most likely didnāt do anything anyone is going to think twice about in a bad way, but rather my dang anxiety is going haywire again and is distorting things.
Loving boundaries with onself. I literally talk to my anxiety like itās a kid. I give compassion to it, but also draw the boundary that Iām not just going to listen to the same shit over and over if itās unhelpful. Itās not ignoring, but is is consicously saying NOPE. Iām not doing this to myself! Sometimes, I just need to recognize that yeah that was weird, wtf. But I donāt let myself beat myself up over it.
I also have some go to phrases that help me. Firstly, that no one probably cared or noticed the things I did. And secondly, so what if they did? Whatās the worst that could happen? They donāt like me? They confront me? I usually come to the conclusion that while some situations would suck, I actually could handle anything. Iām not a bad person.
Then I distract myself. I practice mindfulness in the things Iām doing so I stay in the present moment. If my mind starts to go back to that, I see if thereās more I need to feel but usually Iāve dealt with it and just say NOPE! Iām done with that now!
I hope this is helpful. Sometimes when extroverting my inner process Iām unsure if it makes sense to anyone but me. But, Iāve been there! I think a lot of people have. And it sucks, but thereās a path forward š«¶
Firstly, recognizing that it is anxiety. Helps my brain reframe the experience. I most likely didnāt do anything anyone is going to think twice about in a bad way, but rather my dang anxiety is going haywire again and is distorting things.
Loving boundaries with onself. I literally talk to my anxiety like itās a kid. I give compassion to it, but also draw the boundary that Iām not just going to listen to the same shit over and over if itās unhelpful. Itās not ignoring, but is is consicously saying NOPE. Iām not doing this to myself! Sometimes, I just need to recognize that yeah that was weird, wtf. But I donāt let myself beat myself up over it.
I also have some go to phrases that help me. Firstly, that no one probably cared or noticed the things I did. And secondly, so what if they did? Whatās the worst that could happen? They donāt like me? They confront me? I usually come to the conclusion that while some situations would suck, I actually could handle anything. Iām not a bad person.
Then I distract myself. I practice mindfulness in the things Iām doing so I stay in the present moment. If my mind starts to go back to that, I see if thereās more I need to feel but usually Iāve dealt with it and just say NOPE! Iām done with that now!
I hope this is helpful. Sometimes when extroverting my inner process Iām unsure if it makes sense to anyone but me. But, Iāve been there! I think a lot of people have. And it sucks, but thereās a path forward š«¶
Feb 3, 2025
