Related Recs

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Taking stock

Today marks a full year since I moved back home to Australia from Lundan, Engaland. And for the majority of the past year I have felt like confetti after it’s been shot from one of those guns: melancholy, floating, apart. but something strange began to happen in the past 2 months or so. The work I’ve put into being a better version of me in this new/old place is kind of beginning to take shape and I’ve started to feel, especially today I feel: Good? Hopeful? Proud? Whole. Almost… content????? Is this normal? I like it.

@megab

Jul 17, 2024

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Starting over

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” — Anaïs Nin This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share. I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice. I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see. I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and  logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay! Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible. I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom. Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me 💌

@taterhole

Mar 16, 2025

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Never stop growing and changing

I’m not going to call this gifted kid burnout which I think is often just a symptom of the popping of the bubble of people’s confused delusions of grandeur because they didn’t realize that gifted education programs are at best a way of giving specialized and individualized education, and at worst a way of achieving legal segregation in schools. Not to brag, but my therapist who specialized in EMDR therapy for treating people with trauma told me that I had the most difficult childhood of anyone she had ever treated. It was also filled with beauty and I was encouraged in my many skills and pursuits early on, but the inner rot of compounded repeated traumas, keeping secrets, and hiding my suffering eventually took hold. I was always a good student but as things at home intensified I cared less and less. A teacher noticed this and tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state. This made matters more complicated for me because still to this day he’s my favorite teacher that I ever had; he taught me much of what I know about writing and helped me to develop my skills. After that, I spent my time in school just coasting along, putting in the minimal amount of effort to no fail. I had no goals or ambition. After graduation, I flitted from service job to service job. I started seeing my therapist and thinking about what I actually wanted to do. I realized I had one exceptional skill which could be monetized to my advantage and I threw myself into it, grinding to make a living and improve my station in life. This worked and I live in decent material comfort, but I’ve realized the lifestyle I always thought I wanted isn’t what I want at all, so I’m reevaluating that and beginning to explore what that looks like. There are several different exciting paths of progression my career could take, but I’m also finally working on creative projects for the first time in about a decade, so I’m going to see where life takes me. My best friend tells me I should become certified as a yoga teacher, and going back to school to study psychology and become a therapist would also be tight. I would love to seek a second career. It took me a long time to get here but I’m trying to actualize and find purpose… Something something Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

@taterhole

May 26, 2024

Top Recs from @caskeyc

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My perfect budget-friendly Saturday

1. Don't set an alarm and wake up naturally. Snooze for however long you want to, it's okay 2. Have breakfast. For me it's toast. Have it with butter/jam/honey and a lot of water and coffee and juice. 3. Listen to an album in full and do some puzzles until it ends. I like to stick a record on and do the nyt games (connections, then wordle, then the mini, then I'm ready for a crossword) 4. Shower and use all your best stuff. Smell great. Make your hair feel soft. 5. Wear an outfit you don't get to wear that often. I tend to wear the same thing over and over at work so I wear something a bit more fun and less practical. 6. Go outside. I live near a road with secondhand shops that are great browsing but quite tempting on a budget. To beat the temptation just look in the windows and then walk round the streets or to a green space if it's a nice day. Walk as fast or as slow as you like. Try and spot cats that might let you stroke them. See how each place you go smells different. Walk down streets that you've not been down before just because. 7. Come home and decide how much energy you have. If you have energy do an activity (I would write, play an instrument, do some art, read, play a game) if you don't then watch something from your watchlist. Saturdays feel like a good day to watch something new. 8. Cook yourself a meal. Start before you're hungry and spend ages on it. Use every pot. Listen to music. Sing whilst you wash the dishes. 9. Play! Video games, board games, internet games, card games, phone games, rearrange your plushies, embrace your inner child. Play with ideas, experiment with felt tip pens, write a limerick. Get silly with it. 10. Talk to your friends. Invite them over, call somebody up, text that person back you didn't have time to. I like to spend a good day off by myself then have a great time talking to people after I've recharged. 11. Have so much fun getting to do whatever you want you fall asleep at whatever time. Monday - Friday is about appeasing your body clock, Saturdays are for filthy pleasures like falling asleep at 3am because you were too busy flirting or reading or watching videos.

@caskeyc

Apr 16, 2024

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Tile rat

He's in Rato (Lisbon) and I love him

@caskeyc

Feb 12, 2025

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Kurt Vonnegut talking about buying envelopes

Re: my last rec I'm kinda realizing reading this might have changed my life actually

@caskeyc

Apr 16, 2024