Rec | TEXING BACK

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We don’t write letters anymore so I think that texting is the closest we have to regular written communication (which I actually value and enjoy in moderation). I see and feel the downsides to texting too much. And I have done a lot of work on responding to people slower and taking more thought and time into it. With this said, I have noticed that many of my friends will initiate conversations with me only to never respond. I think the ways you communicate can be important examples of how you’re considering your loved ones.

@valoorie

Nov 21, 2024

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Repeated exposure over and over again

I’ve been the worst at texting throughout my entire life and even still part of me resents the idea that I should be available for constant communication (but I tell her to shut up because I do actually enjoy connecting with my friends all of whom live far away). I had a new friend who would text me constantly and at first I thought it was annoying but eventually I got used to it (then I went back to thinking it was really annoying but that was a her being annoying problem). I became really good at texting back and now I’m the person who assaults my friends who tell me they want to get better at texting with regular text messages. I stopped interacting with my friends as much through our weird obscure social media app and started just texting them directly. When I think about someone or if there’s something I think they need to hear from me I text them! I’m also in a very high-volume group chat with two of my best friends. It’s something that I think only gets better with constant practice and action and intention! I also think it’s worth just setting clear boundaries around text communication that sometimes or even oftentimes you are not going to respond right away. People know that I’m pretty busy and I’ll talk to them when I have time. And I make good use of heart/thumbs up/exclamation point reacts to show that I’m paying attention without replying ASAP. And try schedule sending texts if you don’t want to text right away and have to deal with more replies lol! Also sometimes if I don’t feel like typing I send my friends voice messages and we often end up in a chain of voice messages from there like role playing executives and employees at a factory in the Deep South that explodes and devastates the town and then being the newscasters covering the story and then being waitresses and patrons at Merlotte’s from True Blood gossiping about it. Or whatever.

@taterhole

Oct 19, 2024

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Brief text exchange

I’ve been into just putting things out there. And talking on the phone. I don’t enjoy texting. I never send a text FOR a response. I just want to send it. I have to send text. I like when they respond and then I don’t respond. I like when they just heart react the message. I get the little notif- “blah blah Loved your message”. I’m glad you loved it because I love you. I love all the people in my phone

@vivi

STAFF

Feb 15, 2024

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Responding to messages instantly

As someone who has been a historically negligent telecommunicator, this habit is definitely one that has required some intention and tlc in developing, but boy has it been worth it! First and foremost, this is a bandwidth godsend. By responding to messages as soon as you get them, you fulfill your immediate duty and free up that sweet sweet real estate. But of course there are also many downstream benefits that I will cover in as soon as I qualify a bit and explain the practice. Qualifiers: Obviously dont stay glued to your device, or stop whatever you’re doing, or get into more involved discussion when it is not the time or place to do so. And also in dating I think there is a real value in the air that used to be so natural and implicit before texting. The Practice: Very simple. When an inbound comes in and you see it, simply take 5 seconds to 1 minute to read and respond to it. Most things I find can be answered with a yes, no, or maybe so. And if it can’t, a “can I call you later” or “good question 🤔” or “let me see” might do the trick. And finally, if none of these work go ahead and take your little time and respond later. Downstream benefits: People like it Things get sorted out faster Less falls through the cracks No apology texts or excuses less overthinking communications/more authenticity Obviously there is no right or wrong way. I have a friend that goes read receipts, reads stuff, then, if needed, takes his time to get back to you. And I actually find that nice to be on the receiving end of because it’s always intentional. But I’ve really enjoyed this way and practice and wanted to recommend it as it has added a lot of value in my life.