I’ve been back for less than a week and I already want to leave — everything here is dirty, grey, and sad. I want to go back to the countryside, but I can’t, I CAN’T AND IT’S MAKING ME SICK!!! I want to go home, I want to go back home. I take too much medication when I’m here, I’m sad and lonely
I can’t take it anymore
She's just so fine, and funny, which have always been my biggest weaknesses, her pouty lips and curly hair, long legs, obscure tattoos. her yelling softly "fuck my life" at the smallest inconveniences with a voice unable to be raised even if she tried, the awkward giggles while she tries to get a sentence out, only just to be like "nevermind". i tell her "it's okay, i know what you mean." when she's hungry and finally gets to eat her favorite food, i'll ridicule how gross i find Uncrustables, she calls me a loser and i agree. She shouldn't really be smoking so much weed, but her pink red hazy eyes accompanied with a pretty birthmark to the bottom left of her gorgeous stoned set has me buying the bud here and there. the best worst part? all of this is only slightly self destructive, because i know when she can, she'll also do the same for me. she calls me out on my dumb behavior, loves my art when i don't, hears my family problems and understands religious trauma. her music taste is actually insane shit i've never heard before, it gives me a new face to look at when i look at her side profile as she drives crazily. TLDR: i go to bed every night somberly thinking of us. this isn't anyone's wrong doing, i don't wanna crush anymore.
