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Every person brings different qualities out in us and our connections with these people lead us down different paths. These missed connections aren’t even necessarily about the person themselves but about the life you could have lived together and the changes they would have brought about in you. It does require a kind of mourning to be able to let go.
It’s tragic when there’s someone you feel so compatible with but the circumstances just weren’t quite right—I’ve definitely experienced this myself—but these connections exist in their context. Everyone we touch can’t be our forever love, but they can stay with us forever in our hearts. Love can take so many forms outside of the confines of a traditional relationship. Think of what you shared with them as a gift, rather than dwelling on what could have been.
Jan 26, 2025

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Jan 31, 2025
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Basically what several others have said, but just want to emphasize that often when the timing is wrong, something else will be wrong at a later time that will make it clear to you there was no way you could have brute-forced that relationship to ultimately work well for both of you. I’m happily married with no regrets right now, but I’ve taken comfort before in loving the ones who have “gotten away” from afar by imagining how happy they could be with someone else—because if I truly loved them, wouldn’t I want what makes them happy, even if it’s not with me? And what a gift to truly love someone even when they can do nothing for you in return… it says something about your capacity for love, even if it exists alongside pain or loneliness.
(that said, yes it can hurt like hell and it sucks)
Jan 27, 2025
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I just saw someone say “who says true love can’t be fleeting?” And it honestly put what I view as “love” into a new perspective. That puppy love you get for a few weeks with someone before it fizzles out or whatever is still love!
I had an extremely loving friendship with a person years ago,I’d had known them for 10 years before we had a falling out and I haven’t seen them since. That relationship was still love though, and the impact it had on my life will never go away.
Jan 18, 2025
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Honestly I could be some type of ace so this might be absolute nonsense. But I have loved a couple people and it has felt different every time. And I feel like it also feels different when you're in love with someone who loves you back vs when they don't. The desire to be closer, wanting more and more of a person. But if you have them, feeling settled when they are around. For me the way I love every person feels different. So it's hard to compare and hard to describe. Maybe this means I haven't truly been in love with anyone at all. I feel like I have. The love I feel for my closest friends is still love. It's warm and bright. It makes you more present. You think of them more. Everything else fades into the background.
I wouldn't think about it too hard. There are millions of songs and stories and movies about it. But it's so case specific. You should just nurture the types of relationship and love that you have and that you want to keep. Explore what you feel a desire to explore. I get wanting a confidant and feeling lonely, you should look into queer platonic relationships maybe.
Jun 8, 2025

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