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Happened to me while shopping at target. It’s fine, but yelling ā€œI know you from TikTokā€ in the toothpaste aisle is wild work. But if you ever see me in public, grab my face, just touch me with your unwashed hands. You have my full permissionā¤ļø
Feb 3, 2025

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When I'm in line at the Erewhon tonic bar purchasingĀ Ā the new 'Frankie's Malibu Mango Smoothie' for $19; I already feel really good about myself. Getting noticed by a fan and being asked to take a picture really elevates that experience. That iPhone camera sound cementing my celebrity status in front of all of these LA influencer wannabes. My bros stole about 5 smoothies that same day.
Jun 26, 2023
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That’s grocery store swagger. I was so handsome today that people said are you justin Bieber? Just kidding. no one asked me that. But if they did, I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised
Jun 7, 2025
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ofc ur happy to see me…it’s ME
Feb 12, 2025

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bro Just do it. Stop being a pussy. Look, mines cute so what’s your excuse?
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ā€œBusting makes me feel goodā€ from the ghostbusters theme song. Pure poetry.
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There’s nothing more infuriating than thinking you’re gonna microwave yourself some delicious salty, buttery, popcorn. Only for it TO BE FUCKING KETTLE CORN I FUCKING HATE KETTLE CORN IF I WANTED SOMETHING SWEET Iā€˜D GO DOWN ON YOUR MOM FUCK YOU
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