could be sooooo many different reasons that this happens
everybody is different but ultimately we want the same thing. connection and feeling wanted.
there’s also people who can’t be alone, sometimes this is referred to as codependency lmao!
some people just want a physical distraction to keep them from ruminating on their break up.
we’re all a little twisted!
Mar 11, 2025
Related Recs
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sometimes you gotta remind yourself why you broke up — even if they broke up with you or it wasn’t mutual etc etc, theres always good reasons even if it’s just “they dumped me” like okay yes and do you want to be with someone who would dump you no (even if maybe it doesn’t feel like that rn). Reminding yourself of the things that make you incompatible helps you 1) process and move forward 2) know what to look for in your next relationship eventually! What were the needs that you always sort of wished they’d met? Interests you wish they’d shared? at some point it will be good to consider all of the good things that were there so you can look for those in the Future but now isn’t that time …
Also:
-Read a long and easy book literally give your brain a break from your thoughts (this always helps me reset)
-spend time with your friends and reconnect with old ones or people you just sort of lost track of because you were in a relationship and didn’t have the social time. Build up other sources of love!
Jun 28, 2025
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had times where me and the other person weren’t really in each other’s lives before dating so there wasn’t an existing shared community or anything to keep us in proximity to each other. kinda just follow those folks lightly on socials now but don’t really keep in touch. net zero not the worst.
had one time where the romantic relationship really didn’t work out, just lack of compatibility and not being what the other person needed, but the emotional connection and proximity/availability kept us both coming back to each other to maintain the relationship platonically. kind of resulted in a messy situation where boundaries were unclear and that just lead to more hurt and confusion than had we dealt with being apart and feeling alone in the moment and then come back together as friends after letting time pass. ultimately ended up cutting that person out of my life entirely after moving away and realizing in retrospect that I had allowed this person to violate a lot of my personal boundaries for the sake of feeling like I had someone I could confide in, and that they were taking advantage of me being a pushover to feel wanted/not alone.
all this to say, ask yourself: what is it that this person brings to your life outside of what comes exclusively from the romantic aspect of the relationship? if this person was simply available to you to spend time together, seek company from existing friends, or find a new community to be a part of. if this person was a close confidant and understood you in a way you felt seen by, maybe practice more vulnerability with your current friends/family/whoever and ask yourself what it is that makes you feel seen/appreciated in those relationships? seek that out! in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, it’s going to seem like there is no one else that can take the space that person is leaving. but that doesn’t have to be the case, and investing in the non-romantic relationships you already have can address the valid needs that you have and strengthen your existing connections. romantic love is important, but other forms of love are just as fulfilling and crucial to your thriving! maybe with time you will come to notice that this person had something you value nonromantically and hopefully y’all can find a new place for each other in your lives, and that can be very rewarding! or maybe you will realize this person met certain unaddressed needs in the moment that you can find in other relationships. don’t feel the need to keep em around if that’s the case.
Mar 12, 2024
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I fear that the anxious attachers (myself) who are deeply devoted to doing inner work to embrace a more level-headed presence and invitation, want so badly to empathize and understand their partners’ (avoidant) tendencies. Not to villainize them, and not to negate their own emotional experience but to understand that conscious (even karmic opposite attachment relationships) activate these wounds for deeper reasons than maybe we can comprehend.
The hardest part is knowing that you’re putting into the emotional energy economy, making your counterpart aware of this, and that they are also aware of what needs to change but are in a stalemate frozen with fear of failing, or being imperfect or letting the connection deepen into deeply devoted unveiled love. That is the complexity because love exists very clearly, softly, silly’ly and perhaps often, inconsistently, so it’s difficult to know when to keep grasping for more, and letting them open up to their own journey and walking, maybe even guiding them alongside of the emotional healing because we know what it’s like to be tortured of our emotional hearts and vulnerability.
I’m 25, almost 26 and this is the most conscious partnership I’ve ever been in, but we are constantly doing healing work, having difficult conversations, feeling tension, love, expansion, connection and shared wisdom and warmth, and many things on the internet or in books tell you to walk away from it even if it sometimes gives you what you want, but for me I just don’t know if I’m at that space yet.
I want to watch him heal, and I want to heal more of myself, even if I’ve already done so much work. Like I want someone integrating their shadows into the light with me, because I’m not a surface-level human, this digging and re-planting, death and rebirth. Is this what relationships are about or do people like me (anxious attacher’s) just stay longer because their hearts are more open, hopeful and wishing?
Jun 23, 2025
Top Recs from @chronicwebuser
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you have SHIT at home
Jul 2, 2025
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everytime i log on and see my web user homies posting, i be like 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼 bonjour! or whatever the frig belle sings at the beginning of beauty and the beast 🥲 like i saw @MARXINISTA mornin post and i was like GM 😇✍🏼👋🏼 <3
6d ago
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@TYLER
please let us be free from the commodification of the data generated from our social, whimsical, and sincere, free expression
the sincerity of this app is because it’s different from those other apps :/ why do we need metrics on how we socialize? 😮💨😮💨
i’m curious as much as i am sad about the decision to make the star count visible. is that what its proper name is? or are we calling it likes? 👀
Apr 23, 2025