Picture it: 2020, a year of chaos, violence and uncertainty across the globe. I moved back home mainly for family reasons but also the pandemic, with plans not to stay long. My motherās childhood friend called her up to let her know her grandchild had been taken by social services. Her son and pregnant daughter-in-law were both former addicts who had apparently fallen off the wagon, with the daughter-in-law having gone into labor and acting strangely at the hospital. They tested her and it came back thru the roof for meth. Because of this, cps immediately took custody of their 1.5 year old son. Now, my momās friend was distraught and claimed that she wouldnāt qualify as a guardian for her grandson because she had a minor previous charge on her record and that the state was āout to get herā. I suspect there was something about her criminal history that she wasnāt telling us. But she assured my mom that her son (the childās father) would surely pass a drug test (we didnāt know he was still using at the time) and that all of this would be over in a matter of days. They didnāt want baby to go into the foster care system so my mom agreed to take him in, with the understanding that it would only be for the weekend and my moms friend would be watching him most of the time. Well, dad ended up failing his drug test and grandma wasnāt exactly a reliable caregiver afterall. So we ended up caring for the baby longer than anticipated, about 6 weeks in total. During all of this, the pregnant meth mom ended up giving birth to a baby girl who had to stay in the NICU because she was premature. My mom and I had been properly vetted and deemed fit to foster by cps. In the process of the parents bringing over babyās stuff to our house, meth mom ended up stealing my moms credit card from her purse and using it to buy drugs :) needless to say, the parents couldnāt get their shit together in time and no other family members were able to take him in. My mother and father were separated at this point and my mom and I worked full time, so she really didnāt have the time or capacity to care for a baby long-term. So we ended up having to give him back to cps, which was truly sad. By this point i had moved away to take a new job elsewhere. My mom and her childhood friend havenāt spoken much since this incident. I still think about the kid and hope his parents have gotten clean and were reunited. One thing I can say, despite the parents having a history of addiction, it was clear they loved their son very very much and seemed to be desperate to regain custody of him. This gives me hope that they were able to get their shit together and get him back. It also showed me a bit about what it was like to foster and itās something I would consider doing again in the future, when Iām better prepared to do so.
i have two under two and iāve never felt more vulnerable or in love with the world despite the calamities! iāve never had more empathy or patience or compassion for all living things! iām also so tired and hormonal rn so donāt make any rash decisions but so far itās working for me ā ps. pregnancy and labor and delivery physically went very smoothly for me. i had freaky ppd the first time around but so far this time is just overwhelmingly wonderful?? results may vary.
Having an online audience of any kind or a patreon is a huge responsibility, but I highly recommend making your way towards the goal of eventually having or making children. Iām a dada to a 2.5 year old little boy, named Dashiell (Dash) - with our little girl Meadow set to arrive in August. This is by far the hardest group project Iāve ever been a part of - I wonāt mention the endless list of things we all see when millennials talk about how tired they are, or how their boobs hurt (mine donāt, but if you have boobs they will hurt bad) - but when he takes my hand and pulls me in the direction he wants to go, or makes fun of something stupid I did in front of him (he has a way of saying āohhh, daaaaddaaaā which just levels me ) - I swear Iāve never felt a bigger or more true love in my entire life. Everything fades, everything dies, except the love of a child. Unless you really fuck with them, be good to your kids and love them a lot. I swear thereās nothing better than this, absolutely nothing. Thereās nothing better than love, I swear.
Oh, you wanted me to do this enormous task in an impossible amount of time? No u didnāt :) Iām actually not gonna do that, and good luck finding someone who will :-)