Sorry hella, you’re getting an earnest response from me. TBH you know to expect that by now!!!
Are those feelings normal? Yes. Should we trust them? No.
When we feel like that it is because we are in so much pain. Pain that feels unbearable. The drive to hurt ourselves is to feel a different kind of pain as a temporary relief. The pain to hurt others is to shuck our pain off in the hopes we don’t have to feel it as much. Both options are futile and extremely temporary. Both will make us feel worse in the end.
There are ways to redirect that drive to harm in a way that won’t actually go against your values. But keep in mind, underneath that is sadness. And sadness needs a lot of love.
If this isn’t just a silly ask, and you are hurting, please don’t be ashamed to get support. I’ve been there more times than I can probably count. Love ya Hella 💗
Mar 27, 2025
Related Recs
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I’ve always had this fascination to emotion as a concept. Of course because everyone feels it every day of their life, but more of how encapsulating it can be. I watch films and hear stories and listen to songs and I come to find myself jealous?
Jealous of how pure and raw others experiences are. Why can’t I feel the agony of losing someone, why can’t I feel the devastation of a death, why can’t I lose a friend. It sounds so starkly idiotic because why would anyone want to feel such devastating things, and I’ve asked myself this a lot, part of me thinks it’ll draw more stories to tell in my life, but I think the truth of the matter is that to live is to feel. And I really want to live my life for all that it can bring me.
I write all this not to distract myself from the reality that I have in fact felt such great pain in my life. However, I always lust for more. This also feels like such a blatant explanation for my love of movies, I always feel so drawn into my love for film for it’s ability to snatch my mind away from my life and place it into another’s. My favourite films are those that have made me cry, because as painful as it is I just can’t help but love it. My favourite film is common knowledge but Call Me by Your Name draws me into such a chokehold each time I watch it because of the devastation I feel upon every watch. I never rewatch films but with it I can’t help it, because it always and forever will make me catatonic.
Anyways, I am leaving my point, my point is I am currently in a swarm of emotions from my own life and it is everything I have prayed and asked for while also not being it at all. I feel such an irresistible compulsion to break down and cry, and then I do, but I find myself listening to music and reading texts that only encourage and swell the emotional climax of these tears. In moments where I find myself urged to move on for the betterment of my day, all I can help but think about is someone I care so deeply for moving away. However, is it immature to want to move on? Why must I shun myself from these emotions. After all despite how painful it is, I find myself searching for this pain again and again.
Because to yearn is to be in pain, and to be in pain is to feel, and to feel is to live.
Mar 3, 2025
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I don't like pain. I've spent much of my life trying to avoid pain, reduce pain, mitigate pain.
Many hours have been wasted on efforts to distract, ignore, escape, and numb.
But lately I'm accepting that it can't be avoided. Pain will always be with me—us—in one form or another. Loss, grief, wounds from family, betrayal by friends, sickness, misunderstanding, the whole world one great glorious minefield for pain.
And pain is also often an indicator, a teacher, a directional arrow. (Not always. Sometimes it is a terrible guide.) But I ignore its lessons at my peril!
So. How then do I live so as not to be crushed?
Perhaps: us.
We're going to hurt, so let us hurt in community. Not to swim in the muck of self-pity, wallowing as perpetual victims unable to escape the morass of circumstance, but as co-sufferers whose companionship gives hope. We lament together and hurt together and its really awful but then I dry your tears and you dry mine and there's strength in your eyes and in my words and we dust off and link arms and stumble forward.
Dec 15, 2024
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I’m always telling everyone to go to therapy!!! It’s out of love 🫶
I suggest it because at some point in your life you learned feelings NEEDED to be over there. Yeah, you’re going to have to learn how to feel them, but I’m gonna assume that the distance comes from some kind of trauma. You can’t learn how to be in your feelings if your unconscious or body is going to think it’s unsafe. Again, there is a reason you learned how to do that. Maybe it’s obvious to you or maybe you’re like uhh mossyelfie you’re WRONG. And maybe I am, but an irl therapist can be helpful to figure all of this out and guide you 💗
Also (from personal experience) there’s a good chance the feelings feel so big because they’re at a distance and they’re not being heard. They’re like babies, they get louder when they’re ignored. They’ll probably chill out when you start learning how to express them.
Jun 24, 2024
Top Recs from @mossyelfie
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For some reason this brings me into my parasympathetic nervous system
Mar 28, 2025
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Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE 🌊
1d ago
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FINDING SOMEONE ANNOYING AND IMMEDIATELY REALIZING IT’S BECAUSE THEY REMIND YOU OF YOUR YOUNGER SELF
OH BROTHER THIS GUY actually needs a lot of empathy and understanding
Apr 2, 2025