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might not be applicable to your situation but I hope this is helpful in some capacity

i’ve spent most of my life searching for romantic love and thinking something was wrong with me because i never got it. i prayed even though i’m not religious, i had a box filled with manifestations of the “perfect” guy under my pillow, i tried to go after guys i knew were meh because i thought u could make the love blossom, i did honey jar spells, i changed the way i looked, the way i spoke, my interests, i did EVERYTHING. this all resulted in a slew of horrendous situationships that tore down my self-esteem. after these, i definitely worked on myself and became much more confident and sure of myself, but still thought that a relationship would be the thing to make me truly happy. at 20, i had my first real boyfriend and he was “perfect”, or at least everything i thought i had ever wanted. he was attractive, tried to pay for everything, planned the most thoughtful dates, went out of his way to see me, was incredibly intelligent, kind, loyal, hardworking, took care of me when i was sick, and even respected the fact that i’m entirely celibate (like what 20 y/o guy is ok w that??). i ended up breaking up with him after a few months because i realized that a relationship was not what i actually wanted or needed, it was just what i thought about 24/7. not saying this is you, but the steps i took after our breakup might help with your situation. diversify and expand your sources of happiness/love as no one source will make you feel truly fulfilled. i started by doing 4 things: something that expanded my mind, something that earned me money, something that fulfilled me creatively, and something that fed me spiritually. for me this was college classes, a job at a restaurant, painting, hanging out with the people that i love more often, and joining a bunch of clubs at my school. i think our society places so much emphasis on romantic love, but other types, especially the love i receive from my friends has been the most unconditional and satiating. lastly, (again not saying this is you, it’s just a common reality) expecting one person to satisfy all of your need for love is not only dangerous for you (if they leave, you’ll be crushed) but also unfair to them. maybe i‘m just yapping to yap, but i hope this was helpful.

@alyssaearthangel

Jan 1, 2025

🧍

Give yourself the time to know yourself like you would do with those whom you fall in love with

A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I don’t remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me. I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that don’t feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, I’ve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share. Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too. It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you don’t need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and that’s really cool <3

@ro

Mar 11, 2024

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Not dating and finding love in moments

The social contract of relationships and the overanalysis of the process to get there seems quasi-masochistic to me, and not in a cute way. We seek to alleviate our anxieties about being valued by another, by reducing ourselves to the object of another‘s desires through our conceptions of dating. I think there is something to be said to finding love in moments with friends and strangers. Romance isn’t about not getting ghosted, or playing a game, it’s about bearing your soul to another’s hands, and them doing the same. A real love letter can be contained within a moment, don’t waste it by waiting for the next.

@jessisonline

Jan 21, 2024

Top Recs from @izzy_

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Men in Bars

fucking beautiful 🍻

@izzy_

Mar 29, 2025

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Welcome to My Blue Sky

momma thank you, from literally memaw to serving milf wowza🤩. i love you momma album welcome to my blue💙 sky 🌝🗣️👩🏻‍💻

@izzy_

Apr 8, 2025