I stopped by the dispo on my way home today after about 4ish months without smoking. I frankly don’t feel I need it to manage my anxiety anymore but I had a long day and things have become a horror show in the world, every week feels like we’ve hit an even more disturbing milestone. So I thought a small joint was in order. And im going to watch silly tv shows for the rest of tonight. Tomorrow I’ll get up and face my mile long to-do list again, trying to ignore the pit in my stomach.
Apr 17, 2025
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By just having some time to myself to smoke a j alone and vibe in my room. Have not done this in years, didn’t smoke for a while either (classic reasons, anxiety etc) but it’s been fun to see myself as more grown up since I last did this. kind of feels like convening with a past self and being like - yes life is weird but that means that anything goes and that’s great, I’m having fun 🫶🤷♀️
Jun 24, 2024
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I smoked for the first time when I was 15, and was smoking pretty much daily by the time I was 16. While I do give it some credit for helping me get out of my abusive relationship at the time (It made me realize that I actually wanted to have fun and live my life), It was very much a substitute for any actual proccessing, healing, or coping. It gave me a false sense of inner peace. It gave me a false sense of outer peace as well, because I was so avoidant of any kind of conflict.
I quit because I’d experienced trauma and it began to put me into really scary experiences where I wasn’t quite sure if I was losing my mind or not. I quit when I also quit drinking, which was almost 13 years ago now.
Weed is the only substance I ever miss. Sometimes I wish I could just dabble a little bit and throw on some Planet Earth, but it is always so apparent that when I am craving it I am also very stressed out. If engaging with all of my other healthy coping skills works, then I didn’t actually need it in the first place.
I sometimes wonder if when I’m old, I’ll fuck around with it again because at that point, why not?
Apr 16, 2025
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I started smoking weed as a young high schooler who had been craving drugs most of my youth, out of curiosity, wanting to fit in, wanting to quiet voices, and when it did all the things i wanted it to do i leaned on it for years. Clung to it. But, after going cold turkey on my antidepressants due to being sick of them, weed was my friend. She helped me calm, regulate, laugh, she reminded me to eat, and best of all share with people i loved. I don’t need anything to do that anymore (Shout out frontal lobe development) and due to being broke in college, i smoke significantly less, and now only when i want to, not because i need to. which is nice! addiction sucks bawwwllsss and my sprint away from who i used to be with substances has slowed into a nice jog.
Feb 18, 2025
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Mar 26, 2025
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Oh, you wanted me to do this enormous task in an impossible amount of time? No u didn’t :) I’m actually not gonna do that, and good luck finding someone who will :-)
Feb 24, 2025
Especially a smaller conference with your professional and academic peers where everyone else is as passionate about your niche nerdy topic as you are. People will be super cool and supportive and excited to hear what you’ve been up to. And in the best of cases you’ll get to hear good feedback from well established and respected scientists!
Mar 20, 2025