And at the sight of her, my little felt heart is ripped at the seams. Thrashed red yarn rumpled all in my hands, with my stuffing dirtying the floor. A face like a code; her blue eyes the keys to my little red heart now open for her inspection. Our memories lie on the floor. -Me
My four chambered friend writ across stolen paper
your red walls pulsing in my hands
with a song so loud, so salty sweet,
my lover to devour
in the afternoon
up three thousand steps,
poetry on company time,
secrets held close to the chest
like playing cards,
nine of hearts
in my arsenal
like a cat falling from the roof eight times into oblivion
I save my ace.
I’m a hunk holding a hunk,
I’m Casanova
and I really want to know you,
I’m a heart throb
on a mission.
My star across the sky and on a waiting list
a meteor patiently in line at the self checkout,
with a fistful of ibuprofen
and a need to speed
right into my bed.
Answer my emails from between silk sheets
with a rose between my teeth.
Leak your devotion all over my best shirt
on Mondays
my love,
come apart in my hands,
melt into a silky hot drink
for me to guzzle.
Beat like a drum for me only,
my ever-marching accomplice,
you complete me.
Let me crawl into you
and take solace there
I’ll eat you from the inside out,
melt your walls down with my hands
and leave no residue.
i close my eyes
and i see hers
oh, i love her eyes
gleaming and sparkling
a look i’ve never seen before
her body on mine
oh, i love her body
her hands explore me
oh, i love her hands
feeling where nobody has been before
i say her name
oh, i love her name
time has stopped
there’s no telling what’s reality
my head floats
my stomach flutters
i feel amazing
oh, i love her
my body tenses
i grab her hands
oh, i love her hands
she kisses me
i collapse into her
oh, i love her
i open my eyes
she’s not here
her eyes
her body
her hands
her love
none of it’s here
it’s all gone
i search for it
i demand it
i need it
i crave it
oh, i love her
oh, i love her
oh, i love her
how could someone i love so much
hurt me this bad?
and why am i not mad at her?
oh, i love her
A piece I wrote last year, right after the first time someone left me.
That urge to find their eyes in other faces — and failing — feels painfully familiar again.
With all the quick motions and shocking happenings of the world, I've been taking refuge in the faith I was raised with. Not with a reactionary frame of mind, but searching for the empathetic section of the world I knew when I was younger. Before, I learned about the expansive evils of the world and the contradictory nature of mainstream Christianity and, in extension, Catholicism. I've left the church, but I still visit from time to time, mentally. The teachings of love and justice have given me solace in these trying times. As some rights are being stripped and opportunities limited, my first reaction has been to pray for the people affected. Sympathy is hardwired in my bones, but it's new that I physically get on my knees to recite and conjure a prayer. I've been told I'm having a "come to God" moment, but honestly, I feel I'm falling in love with an idealistic version of Catholicism. Something I can defer to when the logical and the skeptical sections of my mind are overworked with anguish. I feel it couldn't only be me feeling these emotions.
Anyone else?
Foolishly in love with my self-loathing, we’ve been married for years now. Although history proves I've been loyal, I can’t lie; my eyes are wandering. Moving on and self-acceptance have been looking real good recently. I think it's the promise they hold. I’ve inched towards them slowly, but I’m a married man. Leaving something that’s been with me for so long now is very daunting. To leave is to break trust and commitment. Who's lain in bed with me all these years, who's kept me company after dark? How could I dare leave my loyal partner? How foolish of me. -Me
In the circles I run in, it’s very underappreciated. Freddie and Alchemist must’ve sold their souls or something because the album from start to finish is literally the most beautiful and perfectly executed album ever. It’s perfect for long drives, walks around the neighborhood, and it’s perfect barbershop music. If you know what I mean. The lyrics exude a certain rawness and sincerity that, when juxtaposed with the peaceful samples on the instrumentals, form the perfect listening experience. The album feels too intimate at times; it genuinely takes me aback.