“Christ's words, and the example of his life and death — albeit strange and socially unsuccessful (he lived and died unpopular and in poverty) — were equally sublime and sacrificial. To gain access to true love and true self, you must die to yourself, to your family, your heritage, your narrow-minded ideology, your ego, your ill-conditioned consciousness, and your false identity. You must eradicate all the corrupt theological fear-mongering they preach from the pulpit and from behind the political podium. Get real and get right with God. Go in your closet and pray for your ’enemies.’ You must take up the cross and follow that narrow path of sacrifice and love and service. You must love your neighbor, love your enemies, serve the poor, give everything away, and put yourself last. This goes against everything the world has taught you, and it goes against your instinct, and it most certainly goes against the laws of free enterprise and corporate interests. Money and power and governments are fraudulent and false gods. We must be in the world, not of the world.”
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i hope this doesn’t sound like a white boi ego death moment lmaooo, but i was raised in a christian elementary school and as a closeted queer. was taught love, forgiveness, kindness, but NEVER empathy. and i began to believe that basically all virtues are useless/performative without real empathy. 2020 i started reading theory and radical stuff and realized my church was just a business with a cross for a brand. started protesting in Portland and realizing that my abstract understanding of who Jesus is, is more alive in the people (who most likely wouldnt identify as christian) throwing molotov cocktails at pig precincts than in any single person, pastor or family member i’d ever met in my 17 years of institutional christianity. now i’m a buddhist, taoist, Qur’an reading, christian agnostic (because why tf not, yolo, i make my own rules) and life is so beautiful. Fred Hampton is my Jesus Christ and the communist manifesto is my bible.
May 1, 2024
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even if you are not a christian or even religious there js much wisdom to be attained from the words and deeds of jesus christ
Dec 21, 2023
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I guess I don't need to bore you with all this rehashing. You're omnipotent now; the forest and the trees and all the dirt beneath it or something. Does betrayal still sting in heaven? If I don't believe that Jesus rejects those who jump from chairs, which I do not, then I must also question the idea that death is a release from pain. I hope you're thankful that I ask more questions than you did. But in all of your terror and rage, you were just glorious, like a god from some ancient myth, star-crossed with his fate. I wouldn't change you, and I know I couldn't. But I'm trying to ask you something, because my heart still beats and for that reason I am selfish
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I’m not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But it’s pretty extreme when people say they ”hate kids” and I often feel it’s a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids “should be.” That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little. It’s fucking hard to be a kid. You’re dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. It’s confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot. People are impatient with kids when they‘re brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative. A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe that’s the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
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I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk. This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025
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Prescriptive gender is a prison. Rather than gender being a form of self-expression, gender is treated as a pass/fail test for how well you can conform to cultural expectations. Since I was young, I remember feeling a great deal of pressure to conform to these expectations around what “men” are meant to be. You like sports, cars, womanizing, aggression, and not having feelings. I felt so distant from this ideal. I was sensitive and shy, and I preferred spending my time being creative in some way For a long time, I felt like I was failing at “being a man.” In many ways I was! Because I didn’t need to bea man. All I needed to be was myself. It’s taken me a long time to separate myself from prescriptive gender, sharpening in on which aspects of masculine energy I identify with and which I don’t. I’m not done yet. Maybe I will never fully be. The self continues to evolve over time, and I suspect aspects of my gender will too.
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