Related Recs

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Not dating and finding love in moments

The social contract of relationships and the overanalysis of the process to get there seems quasi-masochistic to me, and not in a cute way. We seek to alleviate our anxieties about being valued by another, by reducing ourselves to the object of another‘s desires through our conceptions of dating. I think there is something to be said to finding love in moments with friends and strangers. Romance isn’t about not getting ghosted, or playing a game, it’s about bearing your soul to another’s hands, and them doing the same. A real love letter can be contained within a moment, don’t waste it by waiting for the next.

@jessisonline

Jan 21, 2024

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You know it’s kind of hard

I left all social media for something like five years and only posted on a small insular abandoned app during that time and that was the main way I communicated with people. After feeling repeatedly hurt and misunderstood and wondering why it was so hard to build earnest connections through this medium I decided to leave. I realized that constantly narrativizing my life with no filter gave me no space to process or examine and kept me trapped in deeply baked-in stories in my head. Anyway I’ve maintained contact with a small handful of my closest friends and it has honestly been somewhat difficult keeping in touch to the same degree as I did before about everyone’s day to day lives. I think the hardest part is being the odd one out so you’re missing out on the tidbits they share in this one centralized place for the purpose of economy and time and that’s something you kind of just have to accept. There’s a certain level of meticulous detail that may be lost to you and I think interactions become more of a broad big-picture thing; not being so bogged down in the mundanity allows you to engage with more distance and perspective which can lead to greater depth and emotional honesty. And then it’s funny because the communication you’re engaging in becomes so direct that rather than everything being so uniform and kind of tossed out there, everything has to be very intentional and personal. You have to choose to reach out, again and again; you also have to choose when to give people space. You have to be very conscious of the balance between giving and taking because everything isn’t just being offered all at once indirectly on both sides—and this balance won’t always be perfect and sometimes you might not handle it in the most perfect way. I decided at the beginning of the year that intentionality would be my main theme and I’m still working on it. So I don’t really have the answers but engaging with friends off of social media shapes everything in new and interesting ways and those are some thoughts I’ve had as I begin to navigate this…

@taterhole

Feb 24, 2025

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Some things to consider

Something to think about is why you might not feel a deep connection to anyone. For me, it’s because I don’t do enough to meet new people and because I don’t feel comfortable sharing with people I do know. I make a lot of jokes and keep things on a surface level. And of course there are psychological reasons for that. Does everything have to be meaningful? Not at all! I think there are a lot of posts here about deep, meaningful feelings, but those posts aren’t so different from people staging photos and using filters on instagram. people choose how they want to present themselves on the internet. I, for one, wouldn’t tell anyone in person the things I’m writing to you! So don’t compare yourself to others, especially online representations of others! But, do try to meet new people and do things you enjoy. You only can find “your people” if you actively look for them.

@bee1000

Jan 25, 2025

Top Recs from @stephenramsek

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Anti-rec: adolescence (2025)

It’s just fear baiting gen x’ers who don’t understand their gen z/alpha kids, which the creators of the show don’t care to understand either

@stephenramsek

May 27, 2025

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Sugar as an act of resistance

Sugar was originally a symbol of the working class because it’s cheap and sweet, but it‘s since been demonized by the upper classes whose fetishization of “health” is actually part of an act of violence against the pleasures and pastimes of the lower classes, seeking to create a further social divide on top of the economic divide that already exists. therefore, sugar can now be an act of resistance and solidarity at the same time. Eat some candy today 🍭🍫🍬

@stephenramsek

May 27, 2025

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American fiction is a psyop

Domestic narratives + focus on description + mind-numbing ”lyrical” prose = readers who focus on the *form* of literature and not its power to confront, protest, disrupt, and generally expand our understanding of the real world, where there’s social and economic evil around every corner

@stephenramsek

May 28, 2025