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my anxiety has been eating me alive recently. it’s like i need to overthink or worry about the most minor thing ever. it’s been like this forever, and it’s a little bit self-consuming. i know this happens to everyone, but sometimes i wonder why do i need to feel things more than the rest of people. like everything is harder for me than to others. swallowing the feelings, letting them live, making them happen. i want them to flow naturally from me, but they get engraved in every step of the way before they out. and my focus at the moment is to try and have peace on my mind. sometimes, i need to close my eyes, breathe in, and remind myself that everything will be alright. there’s always a way to go through feelings. and i miss when i got to enjoy the little things like interactions and happy moments, but maybe that just means that i love and can enjoy those things of life. does that make sense?
i wish to all a peaceful time, and we’ll flow through the harsh feelings in some way! i like to remind myself that there’s still so much love to give from me. i just have to breathe.
2d ago
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Feelings are visitors- they come, we meet with them, they go.
Maybe a feeling is a guest for a while. Maybe we leave it in our inner home while we work, or play, knowing it’s there waiting. Then we meet with it again when we’re able.
It’s a delicate balance- on one end, stifling our feelings. The other, gripping onto them tightly to the point where we’re suffering. Ideally, we feel it to the point where there’s a natural emptying feeling.
I used to cling so tightly to my sadness, anger, grief. I wouldn’t let myself feel moments of joy, because I felt that would somehow take away from it. But when we are feeling those feelings so intensely, it’s actually imperative that we make space for Joy. Peace. Gratitude.
Sometimes we can’t do that- I don’t want to not acknowledge the very real experience of depression. I’m rather speaking to the many of us that are probably feeling a lot of hard feelings since the election. Make space for the things that feed your soul. Come back to what is right in front of you- the breeze on your skin, the falling of leaves, the creatures you love. Not all is lost. There is so much to fight for.
Nov 13, 2024
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...and reminding myself that everyone dies, as a way of refocussing - life is short, and everything ends so let's resolve it while we are all still here. Also taking a walk, cycling and listening to music helps reduce my anxiety.
Jul 20, 2024
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there’s something strange about the headAche that follows a good cry. it lingers. an aching reminder that the tEars were real. that the sadness was deep. the thrObbing in my temPles feels like a weight. but also a strange clarity. when everything seems blurred and raw. the mind is sharp in a way it’s neVer been before. it’s as though the heart and tHe mind have found a rhythm together. a rhythm that only comes with the quiet aftermath of pain.
it’s during this vulnerability - when tHe world feels heavy and silent that creativity flows best. when sadness wears away the surface - the soul has space to create without barriers. there’s honesty in it, a kind of bruTal truth that can only emerge from the deepest emotions. the ache. thouGh painful. clears the path for something new to emErge. it’s almost as if the sorrow is the soil for growth, and from it, idEas sprout and twist.
but i kNow that this isn’t forever. the headache will fade, and with it, the weight of tears. what once felt overWhelming will soften. moments are just the prelude to something better. the clouds will break. there will be space for the light to return.
Feb 22, 2025
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i’ve never been in love before. liking boys feels sooo strange. i knew it left me in this deep misunderstanding of what love should feel like. now that i think (think!!) i’m falling in love, there’s all these other questions in my head. and i’ve been a fan of coming-of-age films and books for forever, because to me, i think i was trying to fill that void in my soul of wanting to be loved. now, things are all around, rumors were spread, and i just want him and i to be okay, as friends. first, i think comes the friendship. maybe it will turn into love. in my head, i think i hope deeply, but for now… friendship.
Jun 3, 2025
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hi!
this feels like a place in which i can share my feelings lol. and i've been thinking about the post i made about being in love for the first time and the rumors that flew around lol. so idk if i can even call this an update, but i guess here it is! things are alright! the feelings still feels intense in my body, making me dissociate with who i really am. is that too strange? i feel like i'm not myself, but at the same time, i've never been more like myself. and i've also been thinking about friendship a lot. being in love brings heavy and intense emotions i've never felt before, but i also want to highlight that i think friendship is such a beautiful thing. i don't know if the feelings are equal in the friendship (in terms of love). and, as disappointing as it might be, i think i need to prioritize friendship above my (really confusing) feelings of what i think i can call being in love. it's sad and slightly depressing. but friendship is such a beautiful thing. there's so much pretty and shiny things i can learn from it. the thing is, i'm starting to think that when your in love, it blanks all the other feelings. it's like the shiny and beautiful things i see in friendship start to mix with all of the things that make me feel in love. how can i separate them? how can i apreciate friendship when i know that somewhere in another reality maybe that's not it? all of this is very nonsensecical i know!!! but it's just how i feel, i think.
Jun 5, 2025