I'm so sorryā¹ļøš©·. My friend group of 10 years just split unexpectedly this past week: it's a harrowing and complicated kind of heartbreak and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
Here are some movies to help you through some of the feelings you might encounter (apologies if I got any of the years wrong) :
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If you're feeling unhinged or directionless about subtracting this person from your life; if you're feeling ashamed, guilty, neglected, or exiled; if YOU were the one who was friend-dumped; if you're having a hard time giving up the memories and facing your new reality: Here are some on-the-nose recs for films to help you feel vindicated, and give you the strength to embrace self-care and having fun on your own (especially if there's the teeeensiest part of you that wants to prove to them that you CAN have fun and be okay apart from them. Like a platonic revenge bod):
ā¢FRIENDSHIP (2025)
ā¢THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN (2022)
ā¢MURIEL'S WEDDING (1994)
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If you kinda saw the breakup coming; if the friend was becoming someone you didn't recognize; if you've been ruminating on the issues and trying to trace back to where it all went wrong; if you're mostly feeling numb:
ā¢I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024)
ā¢FOX AND THE HOUND (1981)
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If your friend ever made you feel shut-out or betrayed; if they were a lowkey a-hole; if you feel strongly that they're the one in the wrong; if you feel like you got the short end of the stick; if you're insecure that they're thriving while you're hurting:
ā¢THE SOCIAL NETWORK (2010)
ā¢THE LAST FIVE YEARS (2014)
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If they were a fake friend; if they were changing you for the worse; if stuff was getting toxic; if you're better off without them and you KNOW it; if you're burning that bridge to BLAZES:
ā¢HEATHERS (1989)
ā¢MEAN GIRLS (2004)
ā¢JENNIFER'S BODY (2009)
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If you're angry; if you're feeling like hurting someone or punching something; if you're hurt and thirsty for revenge:
ā¢SERIAL MOM (1994)
ā¢JOHN WICK + BALLERINA
ā¢KILL BILL (or pretty much any Tarantino)
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If you don't want to think about your friend at all; if you just need a distraction or some background noise for comfort:
ā¢INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (2009): Watch a bunch of nazis die gruesomely!!!
ā¢THE MUMMY (1999): Classic treasure hunt adventure
ā¢WAITING FOR GUFFMAN (1996): Mockumentary about a small town community theatre production.
ā¢GAME NIGHT (2015): one of the funniest modern comedies out there, imo.
ā¢BULLET TRAIN (2022): action comedy with a quirky cast of characters. A really fun time and a go-to comfort film for me.
ā¢A MUSICAL MOVIE (if you're into that): For a feelier, cry-it-out experience try "Tick Tick Boom," "Les Mis," or "La La Land." For pure unbridled joy, go for "Mamma Mia!" or "Mary Poppins."
ā¢A CONCERT FILM! My personal favorites are MCR's "The Black Parade is Dead" in Mexico City, and of course Talking Heads' "Stop Making Sense"
Remember, there's no correct way to be feeling, and no one-size-fits-all way to grieve (or celebrate!) Take your time to process this in a way that suits you, and allow yourself extra attention and special care as you navigate your feelings.
Wishing you the very bestš©·
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This was such a thoughtful and considered response thankyou š„¹š„¹, Iām sorry to hear about your friend group itās so hard especially when itās unexpected, the lack of mental preparation makes it so tough. I'm definitely in the saw it coming, relationship was souring, hurt too many times club but I love all of these and I WILL be rewatching Murielās wedding because itās an incredible film. There were several on here that I didnāt recognise so I need to get watching!! Thankyou again š«¶š«¶
3d ago
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i think what helps/is ābestā depends on the breakup and the timeline.
if itās like, three months and your main approach is still distraction that may make it harder in the long run. but in the first few weeks i think itās okay to just distract yourself! i also think what is helpful is a mix of distractions. so maybe at the worst moments watch a sitcom, but at other times it may be helpful to read or watch media about heartbreak.
itās nice to feel seen / see how others get thru it, even fictionally. i love to watch fleabag. 10 love poems and a song of despair and crush are two beautiful poetry collections.
a small āgirlsā/friends night at home can be nice because it will be both fun and youāll get an opportunity to talk things through with friends. + therapy is always another talking option, both in the cases of if the relationship wasnāt the best or if youāre just having a really hard time (which is valid!)
one of my heartbreaks was sorta a similar situation to yours (she got with the person she told me not to worry about right after!) so i want to say 1) i know the feeling sucks and iām so sorry! and 2) itās totally possible to get through this moment, and you will ā¤ļøāš©¹
i also wrote some advice on working thru heartbreak a while back! š©¹ space, music, journaling, hobbies https://www.pi.fyi/rec/clwha3jpj02x510qsyswdwxjg
Aug 8, 2024
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Making lists has always been therapeutic for me, so I put together all the things that helped me deal with it so far:
1. Read: Shifting the Silence by Etel Adnan (which she wrote about dying), the epilogue of "Like a Urinal in a Nightclub" by Luo Jr Shin (to think of grief as the recognition of love)
2. Listened: Wasteland Baby! by Hozier (while sorting through documents, nice reminder that we are all doomed, but wrapped in love and set to song)
3. Watched: Asteroid City, A Beautiful Day in The Neighbourhood (bonus points if it can be on a plane, on a tiny screen in an aluminium capsule hurtling through space and time with the low low possibility of dying yourself)
4. Think about how long a sound from the dead takes to be embodied - from a performance by Lawrence Abu Hamdan, on the Nuremburg Trials
5. Unsolicited advice from Instagram writer Krystal Buck, "...there are four things that will change you. Love, music, art and loss. The first three will keep you wild and full of passion. May you allow the last to make you brave."
P.S. crying is good, let it flow.
Aug 19, 2024
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for me it has been helpful to frame it as getting through heartbreak rather than over - iāve felt it is more of a journey rather than having an identifiable threshold or fixed point of being āoverā the person. so - these are my main recommendations for things to do to get through the heartbreak:
this isnāt true for everyone, but for me and most people i know, one of the worst things for processing is being around the person a bit right afterāitās like making your emotional process and brain not be on the same pageāso space is probably the #1 thing i recommend as being useful to fully processing that youāre not together romantically.
music (also films/shows too) can help you feel seen and understoodāheartbreak is a unique type of hurt. i have like 3-4 playlists from different heartbreaks i have been thru lol!
journaling, to process your emotions solo, though sometimes adding a therapist is needed!
hobbies (solo or with friends) so you can find ways to do positive & engaging things in your increased spare time! spend some extra time being in love with yourself. ā¤ļøāš©¹
source: my personal misfortunes, trials, & tribulations in love
May 22, 2024
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