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☮️
my friend Stephen recently illuminated me on the harm of moving throughout the world in the "more worthy" mindset. if we choose to approach our fellow neighbor with the perception that we are better than them, we are facilitating a reality where we create fear, shame and distrust, rather than love.
on a daily basis I think we have to ask ourselves if we are desiring a collective consciousness that moves with love and peace? or are we acting out of the fear of being ashamed, or the fear of being perceived, or because we want to be right?
I say all this to say that no one in my interpersonal life is better or worse than anyone and that it's my job to teach others to move with love and deprogram fear. The more we create a collective divide of "good people" worthy of being preserved and protected vs "bad people" not worthy of saving - then the way for the collective to "heal" is to exile all the bad people to leave society or be punished. imagine the kinds of relationships we could create if we just tried to minimize the projection of fear and pain onto others and maximize the love or guidance to truth that we could create and share
1d ago
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✊I fully acknowledge my privilege this recommendation. I have the privilege to be able to build bridges because, though I am able to be dismissed because I'm a femme-presenting woman, I am much less viscerally threatened in general because I am white.
That being said, I feel like I have turned a new leaf in that I largely refuse to contribute to in-fighting discussions. In my mind, we are all in a race against the 1% but they have tricked us into thinking we are in a race with each other. I have decided to let go of the race. I have decided that whether they fear, pity, hate, whatever me, I'm going to value "the opposition" as people and when they are able to figure out who we should be actually fighting, I will be there happy to provide resources and supplies that I have in the aid of this goal. Until then, I'll be around.
The isolation that has been bred since long before I was born has just destroyed a sense of community, something that I yearn so much for. I know that people do things that bring me harm. For instance, I still take many COVID precautions and am part of two COVID safe communities. However, I know that the large majority of the population no longer cares and does, unwillingly or not, participate in a lack of overall health safety for me and my family, as well as their own safety. But I'm not going to isolate, I'm going to take precautions to continue to be part of community. I believe folding people in together is the only way forward.
My brother is a huge fan of Elon Musk, which is so gross and awful. I used to shut down conversations about this but I've decided to be open, honest, and present with him about this. I check Elon's behavior to him, let him know that I believe his actions are on purpose and that my brother is making nazi sympathizer choices with his thoughts and actions. I also let him know that when it's ready to fight, I want him to be on our side, which he states he would be (idk). That's all I can do. Keep communication open. Keep connection open. Make these sympathizers not fear "the others" because I am willing to participate and provide and talk.
Now, none of this means I'm willing to lay down as terrible beliefs ravage our society. I am still able to be critical of others choices and I will defend myself and my family against harm if need be. I just believe that the core of most of the harm and violence comes from the top. I believe that people are emotionally thrown for a loop when they come to a conversation with fear-based hostility and find community-based hospitality in response.
I will continue to advocate for the people who are being brutalized our community. I believe, however, that they need to hear us first. They need to see us as human, and I think part of that is showing them that we see them as human. Yes, flawed scared scapegoating humans that need to be held responsible for their actions if and when they participate in violence. I'm not talking about conceding or finding "common ground" in our beliefs beyond the basic humans need food water shelter (and love if they're about that). I may acknowledge their fear, the influences that they have been under, and the things surround their hate. I will try to come at it at as loving as a place as I can, always reminding myself that they were once babies shaped to view the world as this big scary thing filled with monsters, taught by the actual monsters who want to control everything.
Again, I'm only recommending this if you have the energy to do so. I think a lot of people have tried for years and then get burned out. I get that, I think getting stronger within your own community would help grow the ability to then reach outside and communicate. At the same time, my friend and I were talking about how some people are just "front of house" and some are "back of house" and the front of house people can be the ones interacting with society and the back of house can build the inside. We don't all have to do everything, let's find out strengths and build on those to get through, and maybe even past, the shit show we find ourselves living in today.
That being said, I feel like I have turned a new leaf in that I largely refuse to contribute to in-fighting discussions. In my mind, we are all in a race against the 1% but they have tricked us into thinking we are in a race with each other. I have decided to let go of the race. I have decided that whether they fear, pity, hate, whatever me, I'm going to value "the opposition" as people and when they are able to figure out who we should be actually fighting, I will be there happy to provide resources and supplies that I have in the aid of this goal. Until then, I'll be around.
The isolation that has been bred since long before I was born has just destroyed a sense of community, something that I yearn so much for. I know that people do things that bring me harm. For instance, I still take many COVID precautions and am part of two COVID safe communities. However, I know that the large majority of the population no longer cares and does, unwillingly or not, participate in a lack of overall health safety for me and my family, as well as their own safety. But I'm not going to isolate, I'm going to take precautions to continue to be part of community. I believe folding people in together is the only way forward.
My brother is a huge fan of Elon Musk, which is so gross and awful. I used to shut down conversations about this but I've decided to be open, honest, and present with him about this. I check Elon's behavior to him, let him know that I believe his actions are on purpose and that my brother is making nazi sympathizer choices with his thoughts and actions. I also let him know that when it's ready to fight, I want him to be on our side, which he states he would be (idk). That's all I can do. Keep communication open. Keep connection open. Make these sympathizers not fear "the others" because I am willing to participate and provide and talk.
Now, none of this means I'm willing to lay down as terrible beliefs ravage our society. I am still able to be critical of others choices and I will defend myself and my family against harm if need be. I just believe that the core of most of the harm and violence comes from the top. I believe that people are emotionally thrown for a loop when they come to a conversation with fear-based hostility and find community-based hospitality in response.
I will continue to advocate for the people who are being brutalized our community. I believe, however, that they need to hear us first. They need to see us as human, and I think part of that is showing them that we see them as human. Yes, flawed scared scapegoating humans that need to be held responsible for their actions if and when they participate in violence. I'm not talking about conceding or finding "common ground" in our beliefs beyond the basic humans need food water shelter (and love if they're about that). I may acknowledge their fear, the influences that they have been under, and the things surround their hate. I will try to come at it at as loving as a place as I can, always reminding myself that they were once babies shaped to view the world as this big scary thing filled with monsters, taught by the actual monsters who want to control everything.
Again, I'm only recommending this if you have the energy to do so. I think a lot of people have tried for years and then get burned out. I get that, I think getting stronger within your own community would help grow the ability to then reach outside and communicate. At the same time, my friend and I were talking about how some people are just "front of house" and some are "back of house" and the front of house people can be the ones interacting with society and the back of house can build the inside. We don't all have to do everything, let's find out strengths and build on those to get through, and maybe even past, the shit show we find ourselves living in today.
Jan 31, 2025
Rec
🤝this involves DEVELOPING YOUR DISCERNMENT AND DISCOMFORT TOLERANCE SKILLS! is that person morally evil or just not your cup of tea? are they trying to make you feel uncomfortable or are they also maybe a little nervous and doing their best?
we could really change the landscape of what community looks like if we open ourselves up to the idea of consistently offering respect and dignity to others even when we’re not dying to become their best friend, and joyfully sharing space with someone we might not ever know more than as an acquaintance. those are members of your community too!
this also allows for change over time- in the individual and in your own perspective and capacity for connection.
Jun 13, 2025
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♥️I'm sure there's an actual name for this but I'm blanking on it at the moment. I try to live under the idea that we're all one being. That in everybody is a piece of me, and in me a piece of everyone else.
I guess it's like an extrapolation of 'the golden rule'. But I think to myself like, if I was being ignorant, I'd want someone to have a conversation with me and help me understand where I was wrong. If I was having a bad day and was visibly frustrated in line, I'd want to have someone stop and ask me how I was doing.
I think most negative people are just hurt. The longer you go without talking about what's bothering you, the more bitter you get. Most people, no matter how they're acting, change when you ask them if they're ok. Most of the time (I'll admit, there's some exceptions lol) its better to be sympathetic rather than defensive.
It's easy to get heated but it takes a lot of patience to really try to understand. Stranger or not, I do my best to help rather than provoke. We've all got our bad days, but that doesn't mean we aren't deserving of compassion.
I guess it's like an extrapolation of 'the golden rule'. But I think to myself like, if I was being ignorant, I'd want someone to have a conversation with me and help me understand where I was wrong. If I was having a bad day and was visibly frustrated in line, I'd want to have someone stop and ask me how I was doing.
I think most negative people are just hurt. The longer you go without talking about what's bothering you, the more bitter you get. Most people, no matter how they're acting, change when you ask them if they're ok. Most of the time (I'll admit, there's some exceptions lol) its better to be sympathetic rather than defensive.
It's easy to get heated but it takes a lot of patience to really try to understand. Stranger or not, I do my best to help rather than provoke. We've all got our bad days, but that doesn't mean we aren't deserving of compassion.
Jan 28, 2025
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