so, i think that the polar opposite of perfectionism is shitism: where u actually want to do a task badly. u intentionally fuck it up and if u don't fuck it up, something feels inexplicably off. i know this because i often find myself locked in a shitism spiral/cycle.
i am someone who is either all in or not
i dont like to half ass stuff because
1- i was taught that half ass-ing anything was a waste of my own and everyone else's time and time is something that should be valued
2- im just not someone who half asses anything by nature
i am someone who puts their heart and soul into something and i wont stop until it is perfect
not to someone else but to me
so if i know i can do better i will always at least will TRY to do so
but this is low key so fucking debilitating
in my quest to make perfection i am quite literally chaining myself
its all a balancing act that i always struggle to keep up with and maintain
taking small actions before, alongside, or in place of a (perceived) desired end goal in life. Basic CBT technique, best with a dash of ego death and low stakes to build the muscle memory and avoid toxic positivity backwash.
seriously, imagine the worst quality thing you can create in your medium of choice. Lean into the shit. Make it awful. Trust and believe you will learn more about yourself and maybe even stumble upon something beautiful.
