I read once that our culture teaches girls and young women that they have to work hard and plan to get what they want in life. Disney princesses have to take on a lot of responsibility.
Cis white men on the other hand donāt get those messages. Weāve always been able to coast along and our privileged position in society has meant we can end up successful without planning or withoutinitiative.
Now men donāt get by as easily as that, and theyāre lost as to how to go about it. They do poorly in school, they lack self motivation, and they donāt get their shit together.
Huge generalities in there, and Iām plagiarizing an article I read, but it feels right to me.
I do think thereās something to the idea that American men are not prepared to fend for themselves in life. So I can imagine dating us is frustrating.
Jul 3, 2024
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Iāve noticed a counter culture movement brewing online where the emphasis seems to be on rejecting neoliberal ideas of individualism and increasingly atomized living as a sort of virtue for the sake of our children who would suffer at the hands of climate catastrophe or just the cold hard reality of consciousnesses. Accounts like @carnivoreaurelius or @saveyoursons offer practical advice about the benefits of high quality red meats, the dangers of seed oils, not sunning your asshole enough and soulless dating apps. They provide some respite from the nauseating reality of the current leftist ideology thatās left a lot of us childless at 30 because of eugenicist level logic like āwhy would I contribute to our planetās overpopulation issue?ā. Pundits like Jordan Peterson and Candace Owens have built entire careers off this grift of āno nonsenseā steps to a better, more righteous life. Donāt get me wrong, are these neoconservative pysops? Sure. But at this point itās just about choosing which psyop makes life on Earth tolerable for you. I grew up in a culture that shunned the idea of marriage and children altogether because it reminded us of the traumatic lives our female ancestors just had to accept due to their lack of autonomy. Some cope by stating how relieved they are to enjoy their 20s without the responsibility of family and that they have plenty of time not realizing how hard pregnancy is on the body after the age of 32 or how expensive it is to freeze your eggs or adopt. I was repulsed by the idea for most of my life and then it hit me about a year agoā¦without a solid partner and cute fat babies around, life is kind of a hollow boring nightmare.
Dec 6, 2022
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So fundamentally insecure, yet purposely overt rights-warriors thus inadvertently led to accept being treated like disposable shit because their cunt, insecure partners (like themselves) are upfront and respectful about it (detachment theory! āš¼š), that experiencing their reaction to a first-time, explosive, passionate, earth-shattering, actually caring, scary-as-fuck unmoored love is crazy fun. Pretty sure it applies to all genders/sexualities, except maybe lesbians (though probably so, and I'm just biased toward lesbos for naively thinking they possess higher feminine power unattached to the patriarchy.)
May 26, 2024
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- have a firm handshake. this is an unspoken way that a lot of self-indulged men like to measure themselves up against the person they have just met. donāt me afraid to squeeze their hands.
- as dangerous as the āask for forgiveness, not permissionā saying is, sometimes it is necessary as the older generation of men donāt want to hear what you have to say.
- dress appropriately and conservatively, it is the only way to be taken seriously
- stop apologising, because they donāt.
- donāt let yourself be interrupted, call them out and declare that you havenāt finished speaking.
- learn about their hobbies, it helps to appeal to their broad interests to strengthen your bond, because you need to make your mark (f1, golfing, etc)
- donāt be afraid to lean into your femininity, the older men sometimes crumble when you bat your eyes a little and are more likely to agree or listen to what you have to say (unfortunately, but consider it a super power)
Mar 5, 2025
Top Recs from @bee1000
The occupation persists, the oppression persists, the torture persists.
The occupiers are psychotic and their work is never finished.
People whoāve paid attention wonāt be surprised by this photo from Gaza.
Jan 22, 2025
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Give people like jilly a break!
I actually practice what I preach on this one š
Jan 25, 2025
Feb 10, 2025