♥️
lately, i’ve been feeling extra loving to my friends. maybe it’s the end of the year and upon reflection, i realized that the number of friends i have in my life has been shrinking as i go older. Its hard to keep in touch with peoplee you see 3-4 days a week in high school / university once you start working and worries about bills and the future start to consume your life on a more regular basis - and so when i have people i could call friends, i just felt extra mushy inside. not to mention that my friends (esp the guys) are hella darn cute and im having the worst case of platonic crush
I think its normal though (having crush on your friends). i mean, these people are consistently (mostly) kind to you, sweet, and you hang out semi regularly… like isnt that enough for a crush?
Anyway, im just so so grateful i’m ending the year with few people i could call friends. I got no idea what the future holds, but i do hope i can still keep them for a few years….
Dec 24, 2024
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♥️
towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year, i started to meet multiple new people; they were people that i seemed to instantly click with, which is something i hadn’t experienced in a long time. getting to spend more time with all of them this year and seeing how genuine of people they are has been the greatest part of my 2024. my year would not have been the same without them. make sure to hug your friends and tell them you love them before the year is up ♥️
Dec 31, 2024
♥️
over the years, i’ve been fortunate enough to have the stars align and meet some of the most amazing folks i know while at shows, and even better, call some of them my best friends. however, we’re all very spread out location wise, and sometimes go months without seeing each other (now is one of those times). i caught myself really missing some of them today, and it was honestly really bringing me down, but then i remembered wow! how amazing is it that we still love and care for each other so much, even through the distance?? how awesome it that i have friendships worth longing for?? now i’m feeling extra lucky :)
Mar 16, 2025
I love my life currently and the people in it. I have friends who genuinely care about me and will always support me and I know I can trust them. It’s a crazy feeling because I never had a lot of true friends throughout middle school and high school. Back then, one day i’d be friends then the next day there would be a whole drama fest. Cutting off, making amends, cutting off again, it all gets so tiring after a while. You can only do that for so long until you ware yourself out. I’m happy with my life and I do appreciate everyone who has ever been in my life because they have helped me get here and grow and learn, however you don’t need to stay friends with people forever. People change and that’s okay. You should never feel obligated to be someone’s friend just because of the past.
6d ago
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I got no idea how to even begin describe my resentment (and guilt because of said resentment) towards my friends who have it better than me.
I once had to sleep with no heater (on winter!) because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to pay the bills. Another time, I literally passed out because I didn’t have any meals for 24 hours. I had work, then class, then more work that I just forgot to eat.
I’m in infinitely better place now - I could send my Mom money and I have an average savings on my account. I also maintain friendships, many of whom with people that come from better families than me.
i promise you im not always so resentful. But today, when a friend of mine posted a random compliment a stranger gave (“you really have it all! A career, a startup of your own, and youre good at sports and so hot!“) and I just couldn’t shake the ugly green monster inside of me. He was born from a wealthy family — with more than two businesses and expanding, he is athletic because his family could afford all the extra classes and he has been sheltered from all the financial stress and family stress that he was able to study well, got into good university, and the rest is history.
I feel so so awful for feeling this way. He has never been mean to me and i know for sure he is humble enough to not rub that off in front of his friends (incl me) but i just cant shake this ugly feeling.
A, i’m so sorry but i think i will stop coming to badminton games for awhile now. i’m so envious of you :(
Jan 1, 2025
Matthew Perry’s death hit me hard, even after 1 year. Reading his autobiography also broke me to pieces. rest in peace :”)
Dec 24, 2024