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been in the existential, depression, spiral, identity crisis, world crisis, questioning everything since about August, finally coming to terms that it won’t just go away. So I danced the fuck out of myself for an hour. Felt so good.
Apr 27, 2025
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Yesterday evening I gathered with some friends for the evening. Because of what a number people have been navigating, this friend group is relationally disconnected and trust has been fractured in some ways. It's been rough. I'm surprised that several people came. I'm surprised that I came.
After I got to the host house, I could feel the tension within myself. Knew that in order to show up my best, I needed to unwind, consolidate, merge into my true self more than I was in the moment.
In the old days, before I quit drinking over two years ago, I would have wanted a drink. Something to calm the nerves, relax me, take the edge off.
But last night I realized: things have changed. No drink needed. Want I want now is a dance. So I drifted back out to the parking lot, put my headphones on, queued up "Hungry Heart," and started moving.
Swaying, swinging, flapping my arms, and unburdening my soul.
And then I was myself again,
grinning joyfully,
defiantly—
then I joined the others,
and was fully there for all that came.
"I need a dance" is a pretty damn good addiction to have.
Are you with me?
May 8, 2025
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Connecting to the sound of music. With every fibre in your being you find true freedom when you allow yourself to live through that moment.
Dancing connects me to my body in ways I could never imagine. When I am dancing I am simply uniting with my heart and releasing any tension in my body.
How does dancing impact your life?
Jan 21, 2025
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Back in the spring/summer of 2020, I helped tether myself to reality by dancing. I woke up and danced. I ate lunch and danced. I danced into the evening. Every day was filled with me dancing mostly alone in my living room. I shared a lot of my dancing on instagram, most of it to close friends only. As we were all in the thick of it together, it didn't feel weird to do so. Something that would feel egotistical and embarrassing now was acceptable then. I would love to share my dancing once again, but the path has yet to reveal itself. I am always navigating the balance of wanting to be private and wanting to be seen on the internet. One day, maybe, you'll find me on here willing to bare my dancing soul. Until then, I look back to those mainly awful months of 2020 with gratitude for the virtual connection I was able to have.
Mar 10, 2025
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The older I get the more comments I get saying I look so much like my dad. I used to hate it but now whenever I see him, I find comfort that I reflect not only his physical but also i have learned and live some of the best traits if his.
2d ago
Sometimes the days are just to much and you gotta let yourself show the inside despair on your face.
Jun 4, 2025