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Niche list today but it’s relevant to my Monday!
1. Meet at limo entrances: kiss if goes well
2. Group date: bad sign if no kiss
3. One on one: make or break, you either get a kiss and a rose or you get a kiss and a limo ride home (they kiss a LOT on this show). You NEED to share some traumatic story on this date to show that you’re serious about the process.
4. More group dates (but now you’re crying because you’re now worried about his connections with other women) and with hopefully more kissing.
5. Drama time: you pick a side, you either stay neutral and get no screen time, or you sacrifice your time with the bachelor to warn him of the big bad wolf inside the house. Either way you will cry and look fabulous.
6. Hometowns: four girls get to introduce the bachelor to their families, you pray you’re not the one girl that the entire United States knows is going home and is shocked you made it to hometowns. If you don’t say you’re falling in love with the bachelor here, you’re toast.
7. Fantasy Suites: Sleepover with the bachelor and try to pretend it’s normal that the past two nights he spent with other women! If he tells you he loves you this week, you’re pretty much a lock for the finale.
8. Finale: Either go home or get sent home at a beautiful proposal setup in a tropical paradise. No matter the outcome you will need to face the bachelor in front of a live audience.
Congrats! You made it through a season on one of the most spectacular and unpredictable shows ever made!
Mar 18, 2025
Related Recs
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It's that time of year again, another season of the world's most infamous reality TV show. The Bachelorette is filled with people who you both love and hate to watch. There's nothing like some lowbrow TV to send off the summer, so do it right with season 16 of the bach.
Oct 15, 2020
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So I started watching The Bachelorette in 2008 during Deanna Pappas’ season. I was 13 and I never stopped. I’ve seen every season and I have nothing to be ashamed of :(. I’m sobbing while typing this. I’ve heard a lot of people who are like “The Bachelor has gotten so much worse. I can’t even watch it anymore.” And then I ask them when they started watching and they’re like “probably Nick Vialls’ season.” And I’ve killed those people. SHUT THE FUCK UP. The show doesn’t GET WORSE... I’m gonna explode just thinking about it. It’s a perfect show and I hope one day I can go on it as a straight woman
Oct 18, 2023
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I can’t believe I let myself be held captive like that for such an underwhelming cast of characters
Except golden bachelor. I still care about them
Jan 24, 2024
Top Recs from @jsails
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1. Iced lattes
2. Area rugs
3. Trinkets
4. A five dollar bill
5. Vinyl records
6. Metal trash cans with lids
7. Plane tickets (but ONLY aisle seats)
8. 35 mm film
9. A ride in the GoodYear blimp
10. Cable TV
I have an economics degree I don’t see how this could fail
Mar 11, 2025
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1. Pro/Con list: Oooo baby i LOVE a pro/con list they are the indecisive person’s wet dream of a list!! No flaws!
2. Packing list: Oh yes let me gather a bunch of items to bring with me on my next adventure! Am I moving? Am I going on vacation? I feel like a video game character going through my inventory. I love packing lists.
3. Grocery list: Exciting bc of food, sad bc it requires food money. Also calls me out just a LITTLE BIT too much like it’s embarrassing to have to go shopping again a week later because I ate all 15 granola bars I bought.
4. To-Do list: Arggggghhhhhh I don’t want to do tasks I want to go frolic in a meadow or shampoo a cow or something. Writing down that I need to do laundry AGAIN and fill out my taxes is just accepting that I must accomplish said tasks. We are meant for more than this.
5. Bucket list: Oh you want me to list everything I want to do before I die? What if I want to do everything? Why would I waste time writing down things I might or might not accomplish when I could just do the things? Not helpful.
Mar 12, 2025
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According to The American Farm Bureau Federation on March 4, 2025 the national price for a dozen eggs was $8.15/dozen. Here is a list of things that you could buy instead, and let me say, they are much more fun
1. Rotisserie chicken
2. Thirty two quarters (yes this is worth $8 but you could be 64% done with collecting a quarter from every state and that is way cooler than eggs)
3. 12 little tank tops on SHEIN (does not account for the moral costs which are way higher)
4. My love (currently priced at $5 dm me for my Venmo)
5. Six iTunes songs priced at $1.29
6. Eight rubber ducks from my local rubber duck claw machine game (prize guaranteed every time!)
7. Two months of Hulu with ads when you’re a new member and sign on for $2.99/4 months (but then you have to call two months in and speak to a man named Tod about how you need to cancel and cannot pay for the last two months because your Hulu budget comes entirely from the money you saved when you skipped that carton of eggs at the store one time and how you got Hulu as a last resort to save your marriage since you and your husband don’t spend any time together but he always talked about how he wanted to watch “Only Murders In The Building” and after getting Hulu you finally had a shared interest and during commercials you would make out like when you were teenagers in love, you know- before he got you pregnant and your dreams of going to university and having a career went out the window to raise kids that never say thank you or ask how your day is going- and how your marriage has never been better since you’ve gotten Hulu, but you are spending too much money on little Timmy’s soccer uniforms and Susie’s ballet classes that this $8.15 you saved is all you can spare for luxuries like Hulu and how you wish you had just bought the goddamn carton of eggs because then you would’ve never remembered what it was like when you and your husband got along and you wouldn‘t have to miss a show that you never even paid attention to or cared about
8. Iced latte :)
Mar 14, 2025