Literally have a conversation - ask yourself questions about why you canât do something and answer them.
And know that our brains are terrible at predicting how we will feel after doing something. Weâre down and think about going for a walk, which has lifted our spirits before, and our brains tell us it wonât make a difference. Our brains tell us weâll be happier with some new thing, but when we get the thing we are not happier.
I am like you and have a difficult time choosing to change. My brain fights it, too! It sucks.
Feb 9, 2025
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Typically it boils down to forming habits you aspire to have. Which is infinitely more difficult than it sounds unfortunately. Especially if you arenât already aware of what causes what you donât like about yourself. That takes therapy and introspection. Just remember that at the end of the day change canât happen over night, or at least the change that counts. Give yourself grace and time to evolve, because at the end of the day thats what lifeâs journey is all about.
Jun 7, 2024
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Iâve been chronically socially anxious for most of my adult life, struggled to really break out of a shell and only had inner confidence amongst people who engaged with me initially. and trust me, the hardest part will always be the first step, because youâre almost programmed to think of those branching paths of âwhat if this happens?â
My main advice is to let those paths exist, but immediately throw them away, even the ones that look positive. because your brain will always take these ideas you come up with in your head and try to twist them, make you poke holes in them until they seem unappealing, or even worse, make them feel like they could end in disaster. the more you dwell on uncertainty, the more youâll forget why you wanted to do something in the first place.
and my other bit of advice is, if you feel it, lock it in. if you want something to happen, say you will do it, and just keep it there. donât even think about what it could lead to, just say âI want to do x, so I will do xâ. from there, nothing can hurt you, you canât hurt yourself, and even if it goes kaput, you can say âI did x.â
finally, maybe a slightly dumber bit of advice, is pick a song to listen to before doing something you would normally back out of, like itâs a hypeman. mine is âchampagne coastâ by blood orange, mainly because it makes me feel like a Main Character
wishing for the best!
1d ago
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Do you feel like there were missed opportunities? Why?
- How to deal: Internalize that life is a series of random events with outcomes you have minimal control over. You have control over how you cope with those outcomes. You have control over what situations you put yourself in to create better random events.
- Books: The Art of Possibility by Benjamin Zander
You feel overwhelmed or hopeless about current events? You want to go back to âbetter times.â
- How to deal: Thereâs no such thing as âbetter times,â just times where we were less bombarded by an endless news cycle. Sensationalism sells - replace fast bites with documentaries and books.
- Books: Same as Ever by Morgan Housel; Enlightenment Now by Steven Pinker
You feel anxious about your current situation? You want to go back to âbetter times.â
- How to deal: Stop doomscrolling social media. Stop looking at what others have with envy - they made their own sacrifices that you probably donât want to make. Theyâre likely living outside their means. Thereâs no such thing as âtoo late,â youâre just as capable now at starting from scratch as you were when you first started the journey youâre currently on.
You feel anxious about an unknown future?
- How to deal: The best way to shape this future and remove the âunknownâ is reflecting on what YOUR personal priorities are, having an honest conversation about what goals do or donât fit with those priorities and value, setting realistic goals, and putting together a plan that breaks your goals into steps that you can form habits around. Progress is better than perfection. Stop and appreciate what you have on the way to achieving your goals.
- Books: Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman
Dec 25, 2024
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The occupation persists, the oppression persists, the torture persists.
The occupiers are psychotic and their work is never finished.
People whoâve paid attention wonât be surprised by this photo from Gaza.
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Give people like jilly a break!
I actually practice what I preach on this one đ
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